Monday, December 29, 2014....here we are.

I will have to admit that I get really tired because of some of the things that I have been trying to do. 

There are some stairs where was staying this Christmas and going down can be pretty easy. I can just slid down on my butt. Going up can be a lot more hard and tiring. I am thinking I may have strained my arm. I was going up the stairs and I was trying to hold on for dear life. 

I will admit that overall the fact that I had a stroke and it was no fun. I really don't recommend anyone have one. 

I opened Christmas presents with my kids today, Sunday, and that was a lot of fun. This is a very different life than I would have chosen for any of them but it's what's been given to them. 

But well it is nice to do fun stuff with the kids and that is the way I like it. 

December 25, 2014...Happy Christmas.

Happy Christmas. 

Tuesday, 16 December 2014....well.

So life is very busy for me right now. In many ways it is good to be busy but there is really a lot going on right now to keep me really busy.  I know it is the end of the year and there is always a lot, but there seems to be even more right now. 

But all of a sudden things seem to  be going well. It might be just in time for them to go bad. That seems to be how my life goes.   I have always been a pessimist. Maybe I have been a realist. I don't think I have been an optimist, but I used to play one. In a nutshell I'm me, and if you don't like that, don't let the door hit you to hard as you leave. 

So what about now?  Life seems to be very confusing overall and I just want to escape somehow. Maybe I will watch movies until I can't see straight. Or I could eat myself into oblivion.   There are lots of possibilities. 

The thing is I have been making it a point to do more exercise. It is really hard for me to want to do things because it is really not very hard not to hurt myself. I have been told that my muscles are pretty strong but my nerves are not getting the message. It is not very fun to deal with lots of things.

Hope everyone is well.    

Sunday,14 December 2014......hm

So at the VA today(Friday)and there is a lot to do. 

I haven't felt so busy in a long time. At the VA I had to go to the pharmacy, do an EKG, see the therapist, podiatrist, stop and ask other therapists questions. Very eventful.      

If you ever want to feel like life is good go to a VA hospital. There are so many people that seem to be really bad off. Sure I wouldn't say my life is not ideal by any stretch of the imagination. 

To see some of the people there you can't help but want to cry. I think, how did I get to be so lucky,  that I don't know anything about.  I really don't know some times. This is one of them. 

Tuesday, December 9, 2014...(blow a raspberry)

So one more day at the VA. And it seems busy this morning. I have to admit I am probably the most prejudice person in a wheelchair you could ever meet. I don't say what I think because I partially think "better to let them think you're a fool than to open your mouth and prove them right." 

Right now I really don't have a lot to say anyway. Not that I don't have anything to say. I can have a lot to say. It can be so taxing to talk that I really just choose not to. I got so tired talking and visiting with my grandma the day after thanksgiving that I couldn't stand myself anymore. 

I come from a long line of talkers on one side of my family and the other side seemed to keep to there self more. I guess I'm learning to live both ways. 

In other news I did the prep for my colonoscopy. Doing two preps in relatively quick succession is horrible to put it nicely. The prep was no fun to say the lest. I don't think I have wanted to throw up in a long time. But the colonoscopy wasn't to bad. I wouldn't recommend it as a good time. But better than the prep. 

I feel like I have been going really fast and I need to slow down. There are things I want to see and do but right now I just want to slow down. Let's see how that goes. 

Thursday, December 4, 2014....... Traveling and being tired.

A traveling day. 

But I want to say that I get tired, very tired. To the point that it is hard to write. But most people don't really care to hear about how tired I am. Everyone gets tired. That doesn't mean it needs to be broadcast and advertised. I just need to remember that life happens. So you know I get more tired than most people and it sucks. I don't recommend having a stroke.  I have had plenty of days that I have just bawled because I have been so tired. 

One thing I have to remind myself is something that we said in the military. "Embrace the suck". 

Things happen that are no fun. Oh well that's life. 

As for traveling, it is nice and a pain. Going in a wheełchair is very tricky. As long as I arrive early they seem to not have any concern.  

December 3, 2014....what a life.

So. I have discovered something that I hate more than anything else. Bath oil. I think I would rather die than be in a tub that has had bath oil. In fact it would be very easy for me to slip and die so I will leave it at that. 

I really don't like bath oils or the residue. It is difficult if not absolutely impossible to grab hold of things. And I would say a very bad idea. So, feel free to use them if you think you must.

There is so much that I dislike but it can make me feel like I my lose control. I try to say something. This maybe normal but it can be so extreme for me that It can really be annoying. 

I have mentioned this before but my emotions can be very extreme and I really don't like it. 

I am not as bad emotionally as I used to be, but it can be beyond annoying.  

So things have been very annoying and it is hard to want to write. Take care.