22 December 2021….*raspberry*

Ok. I decided I wanted to mix up some banana bread. Fine. 

I already know I can’t put it in the oven myself. So I called my son and ask him to help. He agreed to help. Mixing banana bread is not the same as mixing regular bread. I had to crack eggs. Not easy for me. I hope I didn’t get any shell in. Plus one of the eggs I tried had gone bad. I have heard how yucky rotten eggs smell. Now I know. 

Then I had to open milk. Again not the easiest for me. Spilled some. 

Dropped one of the bananas. 

Finally I got it all mixed together. Awesome. 

So now I can sit and wait for some help putting it in the oven to bake. I just noticed one thing. I am so sweaty I my need to take another shower. 

Ok my sons came to help me. 

One put the batter in the pans and into an oven. 

My other son was going to come over and help take it out. He forgot. He was about 10 minutes late. I had turned off the oven and opened the oven door. 

By the time my son got there all the banana bread was burnt. 

That’s life.

18 December 2021….review

I love the way math works. It can make you so happy. It can also make you miserable. 

Math doesn’t lie. 

Humans can manipulate other humans. Still numbers, by themselves, have no hidden agenda. 

In other news my ghost peppers are starting to ripen. I tried a very small one. Oh momma, that was hot. It lasted about an hour. And after, I could still feel a heat in my stomach. Heat was so intense that it was making me drool. I drank all my milk, it is almond milk, it still made it feel better. Eventually the milk was gone. I ask my children to get me a stick of butter. My son unwrapped it and I just took a bit of the stick. Gross. Disgusting. I cannot think of enough words to describe how yucky butter, that much, is. But I think I did calm the fire. 

I am not planning to grow another ghost pepper plant. I doubt I will grow anything hotter. I like to taste my peppers. Ghost peppers are I would say a novelty. 

I will grow them for as long as the plant survives. Then I will go with peppers that have less intense heat. 

I still want to make a pepper sauce. We will see what happens. 

17 December 2021…..this was kind of fun

I love you so much, but at the same time I can not tolerate being around you for any length of time. 

When I am around you I have to bite my tongue. I noticed my tongue bleeding after you left last time you were here. If you keep coming around, I will bite my tongue off. So, please do not come by any more. 

I love you so much I do not want to subject you to the vile, evil things that may come out of my mouth. That said I like having a tongue and I don’t want to bite it off and bleed to death. 

Please stay away. 

16 December 2021…..why, oh why, oh why.

I am so tired of the VA transportation. 

I was forgotten last night. The VA closed at 4:00. I was there until 5:15. I didn’t get home until 7:20. 

I’m mad. 

I have had people there attempting to gaslight me and just shutting down anything I might have to say. 

They say they are at the hospital but they can’t answer the phones. Then reprogram the phones. 

I honestly think that as far as veterans are concerned with the transportation department, veterans come in last place. As long as there employees get to leave work at 4:30 everyone should be happy. 

14 December 2021…..I love the fact that snow is rarely a thing here.

I get really bugged by many things. 

One thing at this time of year especially. I hate watching my children wrap presents. 

They do a very sloppy job of it. Still, they do it. That’s more than I used to do. I eventually got brown paper shopping bags and put presents in those. I could wrap presents. I just got tired of it. 

I went outside for a few minutes. My peppers are making me so happy. It’s halfway through December and my plant is still alive and producing. I love it. 

I have been listening to audio books. It is so much nicer than watching TV. I decided to get the book Atlas Shrugged. 

I’ve never read it before. Interesting. I like some parts of it. I get the idea that one person I know, who introduced it to me, took it to literally. It is a good story, with some very wise philosophical ideas. Still I can see, now, that some people have taken part of what I would say is just the story, and made it into part of there personal view or philosophy r and it’s not the part I would use for a personal philosophy. It has taken me 30 years to recognize. I have after 30 years recognized so many little things. I have never been the quickest to make connections. In a way I am grateful for that. 

I will write more about that later. 

2 December 2021….meh

So, I just got done having a pedicure. 

Wow! 

Most excitement you can have with your clothes on. Oh baby. 

I had a manicure also. I still think a manicure is about as exciting as getting you oil changed on your car. 

Pedicure is so much better. 

My peppers are amazing. 

December 2 and still growing season. 

I am tempted to move further south, so I can have warmer winters and thus a longer growing season. 

I just can’t justify moving at this moment. Maybe in a few years.

I have color starting to show in my ghost peppers. 

I also started growing a scorpion pepper. I got a late start, otherwise in might be bigger. It’s about one ft. (30cm) tall. It is so exciting. 

This world is fun and stupid all the time recently. I worry that I need to do something different than I have. 

Still it is ok. 

I’m not dead yet, and even if I do die, life goes on. 

I would hope that people can cry for a week or so. 

I almost died once already. Everyone says my family was here. 

If they were I don’t remember. 

Then everyone is still going to need to eat, or pay rent or mortgage, floors will still need swept, etc. 

Someone can use my skeleton as a Halloween decoration. People that aren’t me can worry about the important and less important aspects of life. 

No one get the idea I want to die. 

I don’t. 

My life is great. But if it happens it happens. 

I am so tired of all the “stuff” going on. 

I watch or listen to the news and want to cry. 

Plus the VA makes me want to bawl some days, this being one of the days. 

But it could be worse. Overall, Let’s go Brandon.