17 September 2019.....be excellent to each other

So I have been thinking how I will do some of the things I have to do during the day. I have so many things that I think and feel I should do. Some things have no specific time they need to be done. Other things have very specific times. So every morning I can arrange my schedule so that things get done. 

I can give myself a very specific schedule before I get dressed and ready for the day. Then give myself some time to plan and then move things around. Some people my think this is to easy. I’m not as quick as some people. 

So different topic. My body needs the one medication I take badly. It got very low in how much I had. My body got so tight without the medication. After I got it again and put it back into my body properly my body began to relax and rest. I was so tired because my body had been so tight. It is crazy how it all works. I just wanted to sleep the rest of the day. 

Now look at this picture 

In some ways it is overly simplistic, every individual is more complex ,but it explains well the battle everyone has with emotion and logic. One is not better than the other but both MUST work together. Neither is better than the other. In a way they work together very well. But in other ways they appose each other. We are all in this way in some fashion. 

Now 2 Nephi 2:11-12 says

“For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so,..., righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.

 Wherefore, it must needs have been created for a thing of naught; wherefore there would have been no purpose in the end of its creation. Wherefore, this thing must needs destroy the wisdom of God and his eternal purposes, and also the power, and the mercy, and the justice of God.”

There are so many things that I hate, but life has to be that way. If it’s all my way, that would mess things up. If it’s all someone else’s way that would mess things up. In a way it’s a good thing that no one can be completely satisfied. We need to strive for excellence, not perfection.

10 September 2019......why me?why not me?

7 September 2019

I am so busy lately. I am not as busy as many people I know. Still some things have been a nonstop roller coaster. 

I think in some ways I have had the effects of my stroke increase or maybe I had some backsliding. My body is constantly sore,I’m an emotional wreck, and my memory slips. It’s like I’m a much older person, maybe 150 or 200 years old. 

There so much going on with two children in high school, and two others. 

10 September 2019

So my brain has been working through a lot of things. I need to slow myself down a lot. I feel like I’m going at a snails pace. So slow I can’t stand it. I need to go slower in certain ways. I can’t stand it in some ways. I have so much that I want to do. Better to do some things than none at all. 

It’s almost like I progressed to a certain point and I hit a point that it’s like if I want to make anymore progress I’m going to have to work harder. So now I have to choose very carefully what I want to do. I have lots of ideas. Some things there is very little chance that I could do, either because I don’t have the mental skills or the physical ability. 

I continue to have to remind myself,”You had a stroke.”  You would think it’s not such a hard thing to remember. It shouldn’t be, but I had almost 40 years when I was “normal”. Now it’s been almost 6 years that the stroke happened. Some things I can remember great from that time period. Some things I don’t remember at all. Brain injuries are like that.