14 May 2020......it’s nice to shower first thing in the morning.

“We will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”  -MLKJr

I found the quote and it made me start thinking. 

I am seeing this statement ring true thoughout my life. I can remember all kinds of moments when people were silent and they didn’t say anything. 

Two examples;

Once when I was in seventh grade. I went to a scout meeting. 

More recently, maybe 5 years ago, a person said they would not stand up for me, after I had shared my troubles and then ask that person to help. The wouldn’t even tell me over the phone, only writing me. 

I can understand a person not wanting to get involved. Still, I very much go with the idea that life is messy. At times I didn’t cause or create the mess but I need to help clean up the mess. 

I am my brothers keeper. 

At the same time I can not be everything to everyone. I have to be able to say no because I have my limitations. I am so far from being Superman it’s laughable, or maybe you want to bawl. 

Now these are two cases where I have forgiven but not forgotten. I still like the two people, but I have no desire to be around them. I love them but I do not feel either has my back. 

I don’t know why people did what they did. All I know is that they weren’t there at a time I needed a lot of help. 

Maybe I’m to sensitive about things in my past. I don’t want to hold anything against anyone. I still do it at times. 

Now as I write I think and people didn’t tell me things. Honestly I don’t see how they thought they were protesting me. I see it more like they were protecting themselves. 

Maybe they assumed since I have a type of brain damage, I had a stroke, I couldn’t handle it. 

Hard truths or facts need to be shared at times. Honestly, as I see it facts need to be shared. No matter how hard the fact might be. We are our brothers and sisters keeper. 

A surgeon will go and skillfully operate. At times we all need a surgeon. We may hate what has to be done. 

Now what was done was most likely the best thing. Several people told one specific person and he told me. Was that the right thing to do?  Probably. Still when I think about it, it’s kind of chicken shit, in my opinion. Still there are some doctors that are amazing doctors. Still they have lousy people skills. Sure we all want a kind compassionate doctor. Still in most cases for me, I want the doctor that is most competent. 

I feel like I could go on but I won’t.