7 June 2020......I feel like I am going mad

I am at odds with myself and what seems to be a majority of society. Lots of people support Black Lives Matter. I don’t. I’ve seen some of the more shady dealings they have. Lots of people say they do good. I have yet to see anything good come from the organization. If you have video of the good they Supposedly do message it to me. I will take a look. Right now I don’t believe the organization does anything good. If I’m wrong please send me video to prove it. 

The other thing is police. There are good police and bad. I know a policeman I go to church with. Great guy. I’ve had another help me with my wheelchair. I know there are very good police. I also know there are pathetic examples of humanity, wastes of skin, that exist. I have had my own experiences with the Bexar Country Sheriff, the county I live in. They cover for each other’s bad behavior, and turn your own words against you. I’m sure there are good deputies that work with the force but I have yet to meet one. The previous sheriff  lied though her teeth at a debate, before the last election. The current sheriff who won the last election, suggested nothing of substance. I didn’t vote for him. I’ve done my best to avoid any interaction with any sheriff personnel. My experience is they pick and choose the laws they want to enforce. If I am wrong someone please prove me wrong. I’ve had attorneys tell me the same thing about sheriff officers in surrounding counties as well. 

Now I don’t want people to think I don’t respect police. I do. They have a thankless job. They have the very real possibility that they my not return home at the end of there shift.  And that is a day in and day out possibly for many of them. That is a very real possibility I have never had to deal with. Still besides the few have personal experience, I don’t hate any. 

So a little about my current goals. 

Running type exercise

I got my manual wheelchair back from the shop. There is no way I could get out of my apartment by myself. The parking lot has a very subtle slope and is not the easiest for me to push myself on. I was hoping that I could push myself faster. I was so slow that I almost wanted to cry. I can’t push myself fast. People can walk faster.

Write every morning. 

Not doing the best. 

Floss teeth 

Doing better. 

Volunteer

Ok. 

Budget

I need to do better. 

No robbing/borrowing from savings 

Good. 

Spend time in nature

I go outside but it’s getting hot you have to go out before 8am. 

Read Book of Mormon daily Read General conference talks daily 

Doing a lot better 

Bake at least one loaf of bread a week, hopefully sourdough. 

I haven’t wanted to do a thing I just want to do nothing.