29 July 2020...

Small aside. MainEvent was fun and the children had a blast. 

Day 3

So I have been watching The Big Bang Theory for a while. It’s an irritatingly funny show. 

My opinion after watching it and then comparing it to life is that Sheldon Cooper is more like President Trump than most people care to admit. The things Sheldon does are contrived and meant for comic effect. If it was real life I have no idea how a person like that would not get hit every day. 

In many ways the comedy works. I still find myself wanting to punch Sheldon in the head at times. 

It’s always been obvious that something is not quite normal about the president. Is he crazy?  As a former mental health professional I would say no. Still it is obvious that his pistons fire in a different order than many people are comfortable with. 

In not to many words he gets things done. That is reason enough, in my opinion, to make people mad at him. Especially in an industry, politics, that thrives on accomplishing as little as possible in as long a time as possible. President Trump has been able to do a lot. Imagine if Congress was working with him. Democrats and Republicans have each been doing what they can to slow him down as much as possible. 

He is in office as a Republican sure. Still he is essentially partiless. 

In my opinion the Republicans that controlled both houses in Congress the first two years he was in office did nothing to help him. They were obstacles that said they wanted to help, then didn’t do much. The Democrats were and still are a little more brazen about there trying to block the president’s efforts. 

So we, as a people in the US. Have a president that most likely never wanted to be president, but decided it would be the best thing he could do to help the country he loves and cares for deeply

28 July 2020....Day 2

Day 2

So a few things about me. 

I have watched a show off and on since I got out of the hospitals a few years ago, Ancient Aliens. Kind of fun but so full of assumptions and holes I don’t know how anyone takes it serious. You have to stop yourself from wanting to throw the TV out the window at times. That said it has helped me learn one thing. 

There are things  science can’t explain. Lots of things. 

If you want to find out about some of the things that scientists can’t explain, look on the internet there is lots out there. 

My personal opinion, most of what people accept as “science” is a new form of a Religion. It knows lots of things. It makes the assumption that it is the only answer for most things. Most religious organizations suffer from a similar flaw. They think they know everything. 

Science is important. 

Religion is important. 

As I see it they are two “religions” in there own right that are trying to compete with each other. 

If you rely only on science, you are only getting part of the picture. 

If you rely only on religion, you are only getting part of the picture. Either way if you rely on one more than the other, that sounds like the pinnacle of arrogance.

27 July 2020......Day 1. No frills

I have been writing quite a bit so I will post for the next few days. 

Day 1

We live in a world that is...I would call it stupid right now. If I wasn’t in a wheelchair, I would go live with some isolated African tribe and escape all the modernization and “conveniences”. 

“But behold, I am a man, and do sin in my wish; for I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me.”  Alma 29:3 

I’m alive in the 21st century. 

If I wasn’t born during this time period and in the place I was, I would most likely be dead now. 

But that’s another story. 

I have been looking at the presidential candidates. I would say more than any other time people are forced to choose the lesser of the evils presented. 

The libertarian candidate has a few nice ideas but some ideas I could never support. 

The Democratic candidate has been in federal political office for longer than anybody should be. Borderline dementia. Some of his ideas are as slippery as an eel. It’s like hearing 1=0. Looking at him I would say it’s it is the epitome and definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results

The Republican candidate. There is lots not to like.  Still he gets things done and tries to do things he has said he will do in as timely a manner as possible. Not that he’s a real Republican. But, that’s how he is running. The President, he does things I don’t like, but he throws a monkey wrench into the status quo. He can’t be defined as a typical “Republican”. Especially since I would say the Republicans in Congress when he entered office were as obstructing as the Democratic House is now.

So I was watching a video and thinking. 

Right now most people will cast their vote like this.

They will vote for the president 

OR

They will vote against the President. 

I highly doubt that anyone will vote FOR any one who is not the president. 

Those people may get votes. 

Only because whoever it is, is NOT the President. 

Democrat candidate will only get votes because he is not President Trump. 

Libertarian candidate will only get votes because she is not President Trump. 

The only platform any candidate has is they are not President Trump. 

8 July 2020......oh brother.

I find myself upset, beyond rational thought, about things I have no control over. 

Even if I hadn’t had a stroke I would have no control over. 

I’m not sure if that makes me feel better or worse. 

I won’t share exactly who the people are because no one would be able to do anything about the concerns I have. 

I have learned, mostly since the stroke that we, individually, have very little control over many things in our lives. 

Me and the stroke for example. It was partly breakage partly blockage. Either one can cause trouble by itself. I had both happen. 

I don’t have any of the possible indicators. 

I don’t drink. Never have. 

I don’t smoke. Never have. 

At the time I was running a lot. Usually five miles three times a week. 

So, that was ok. I didn’t die. 

Still, a blood vessel in my brain clogged. Another broke. 

If you want to say I’m lucky or unlucky you are probably right. 

There is only so much I have control over and even that can present limitations. I do what I can. 

One thing I laugh about is people trying to control things that we, as humans, have no control over. Anything that involves other people is normally out of our control.  Things we individually need to decide are; 

Can I persuade others to agree with me about this? 

Can I personally do anything? 

What if no one wants to join me?

So a little about my goals. 

Running type exercise

 I can’t run by myself. I can try a treadmill. I have. It can wear me out quick. I have my manual wheelchair. It is not easy for me to push myself. I need someone to push me over and past the threshold for my front door. Still, I want to get out more. Not the best. Not the worst. 

Write every morning. 

Writing with one finger on a tablet is slow. Somedays I am to tired to do a damn thing. I try to avoid watching TV. Some days it’s the only thing I have strength to do. Still I have been trying to write more. Maybe someday I will do good. 

Floss teeth 

Thank goodness for flossers that can help me. Plane floss would leave me out of luck. I’ve been doing better lately. 

Volunteer

I can’t do what I would prefer. About the only thing I can do is throw money at problems. Oh well. Another thought. Money is bull shit, you have to spread you have to spread it out to help things to grow. 

Budget

I can’t do much at times. I need to do better. 

No robbing/borrowing from savings 

Not bad. 

Spend time in nature

I will go outside. In summer like right now it’s way to hot to want to be out. Winter has some nice days but usually it’s to wet and cold to be comfortable. At least there is rarely snow. 

Read Book of Mormon daily Read General conference talks daily 

 Not doing bad.

Bake at least one loaf of bread a week, hopefully sourdough. 

I have been overwhelmed by bread. 

I have been thinking I need to back bread just once a month. Normally I would just give it away, but everyone thinks death is going to take them if they go out. 

17 June 2020......to much bread😳😑

Apricot nut whole-wheat. 

12 June 2020.......life is so complicated. It doesn’t need to be.

Photo of me

Photo of the bread I made

I had some trouble finding the word “physician”, mainly because I can’t spell. I had to download a dictionary with a thesaurus. 

There are only 7 uses of the word “physician”    in the New Testament. Here are most of them. 

Matthew 9

12 But when Jesus heard that, he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick.

Mark 2

17 When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

Mark 5

26 And had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse,

Luke 4

23 And he said unto them, Ye will surely say unto me this proverb, Physician, heal thyself: whatsoever we have heard done in Capernaum, do also here in thy country.

Luke 8

43 And a woman having an issue of blood twelve years, which had spent all her living upon physicians, neither could be healed of any,

44 Came behind him, and touched the border of his garment: and immediately her issue of blood stanched.

So Christ is he Master Healer.physician. surgeon.  He allows us to help at times. 

We need to work as surgeons, in ways the Savior will guide. We have to be judicious enough to know how to do something that my cause pain for a short time, but can help in immeasurable ways. 

If you were to ask me to be your surgeon for an operation, you better prepare yourself to die. I was a mental Health professional. I only talked. I was the kind of “physician” that helps untangle the yarn that is in your head. 

I know all to well that the physical and mental are connected in such a way that they can’t be separated. Example. I went and visited a psychologist last year. After two sessions I discovered that I was frustrated and mentally “unhinged” because I can’t physically do certain things. Thanks stroke. So I have had to teach myself that life is ok even though I can’t do some things. I’ve got a very good grasp on the reality of life. I don’t have to like the reality I am given, still it’s my reality. If I want I can invent bionic trousers and maybe I can walk. 

I think that one of the biggest problems now days is that so many people think they need to enjoy and love everything they do. I don’t think life has ever worked that way. 

We are all a metaphorical “physician” or “surgeon” at something. At times we need someone who is more experienced than we are at something; mechanics, business, computers, homemakers, everyone needs a little help. That is what theSavior is available for. No one is an expert at everything. The closest thing to an expert at everything is a mom, maybe a grandma. Just ask their children or grandchildren. 

Back to the point. Everyone needs to know how to wisely and judiciously hurt in order to help. We can know if we will ask, pray. 

Somethings in this world are crazy right here now. I’ve come to the conclusion that to many things are not worth my time. I’ve had that thought for some time. Just learning it again. 

In this crazy world are we going to metaphorically run after every snake that bites us. We would die before the snakes do. 

We don’t need to look for the snakes. Some will find us whatever we may do. So much depends on what we can individually control. What can I control? What would I like to control? How can I get there?

So a little about my current goals. 

Running type exercise

I got my manual wheelchair back. Someone helped me go outside. The wheels on my chair rubbed against my arms and hands badly. I have sores that hurt on both arms and both hands. Not my idea of a good time.  So I got some arm guards and gloves and I will try again. 

Write every morning. 

Could be better but not doing bad. 

Floss teeth 

I say good 

Volunteer

Not bad. 

Budget

It is taking some effort but I’m getting there. 

No robbing/borrowing from savings 

Fine 

Spend time in nature

Part of me does not want to go outside. It is hot. Still I go. The heat can take a lot out of me. 

Read Book of Mormon daily Read General conference talks daily 

For some reason I only want to read conference talks. 

I stumbled across a video on you tube about possible Book of Mormon archeological evidence. Totally blew some of my ideas I had out of the water. Did things happen in the US or Central America?  I will just say I don’t think the Central America idea holds much validity. Ultimately where it happened is not the main point. It happened and was recorded so that we have another witness that Jesus is the Christ. 

The archeological stuff is fascinating but in so many ways secondary to the teachings from and about the Savior. 

Bake at least one loaf of bread a week, hopefully sourdough. 

I got my bread made this week. One was olive bread. 

7 June 2020......I feel like I am going mad

I am at odds with myself and what seems to be a majority of society. Lots of people support Black Lives Matter. I don’t. I’ve seen some of the more shady dealings they have. Lots of people say they do good. I have yet to see anything good come from the organization. If you have video of the good they Supposedly do message it to me. I will take a look. Right now I don’t believe the organization does anything good. If I’m wrong please send me video to prove it. 

The other thing is police. There are good police and bad. I know a policeman I go to church with. Great guy. I’ve had another help me with my wheelchair. I know there are very good police. I also know there are pathetic examples of humanity, wastes of skin, that exist. I have had my own experiences with the Bexar Country Sheriff, the county I live in. They cover for each other’s bad behavior, and turn your own words against you. I’m sure there are good deputies that work with the force but I have yet to meet one. The previous sheriff  lied though her teeth at a debate, before the last election. The current sheriff who won the last election, suggested nothing of substance. I didn’t vote for him. I’ve done my best to avoid any interaction with any sheriff personnel. My experience is they pick and choose the laws they want to enforce. If I am wrong someone please prove me wrong. I’ve had attorneys tell me the same thing about sheriff officers in surrounding counties as well. 

Now I don’t want people to think I don’t respect police. I do. They have a thankless job. They have the very real possibility that they my not return home at the end of there shift.  And that is a day in and day out possibly for many of them. That is a very real possibility I have never had to deal with. Still besides the few have personal experience, I don’t hate any. 

So a little about my current goals. 

Running type exercise

I got my manual wheelchair back from the shop. There is no way I could get out of my apartment by myself. The parking lot has a very subtle slope and is not the easiest for me to push myself on. I was hoping that I could push myself faster. I was so slow that I almost wanted to cry. I can’t push myself fast. People can walk faster.

Write every morning. 

Not doing the best. 

Floss teeth 

Doing better. 

Volunteer

Ok. 

Budget

I need to do better. 

No robbing/borrowing from savings 

Good. 

Spend time in nature

I go outside but it’s getting hot you have to go out before 8am. 

Read Book of Mormon daily Read General conference talks daily 

Doing a lot better 

Bake at least one loaf of bread a week, hopefully sourdough. 

I haven’t wanted to do a thing I just want to do nothing.