30 April 2026

First, Happy Birthday, Dad. I can’t believe it’s been so long. I was 19 at the time. 

My body is tired. My body is getting old. I’m a 52 year old in an 80 year old body. 

My body was hurting. I didn’t know why. Then I saw a video about a lady that has a type of arthritis since childhood. The only thing that helped her was a carnivore diet. She said after seven years she is finally able to add things that aren’t meat back to her diet. But it was and is a slow process. 

So I decided to try carnivore also. My body was in so much pain that day in particular, I was not sure what to do. I ask my wife to make me a breakfast of bacon, eggs, steak and top everything with butter. 

Some people might say, “that’s going to kill you.”  

No kidding. Like dying is a bad thing. Everyone that is born dies. I’m living on borrowed time anyway. If I die everyone can cry for a week and then life will go on. 

But in the meantime I’m alive and not in pain. 

I have had days where I wanted to cry the whole day because I hurt so bad. I started this carnivore diet and I started feeling so much better when I woke up in the morning. One morning I felt positively euphoric. Nothing was hurting. It was good to be alive. 

But I had lots of food in my house, that was not carnivore that needed to be used. I hate throwing food away. It’s a sin, if it’s not gone bad, as far as I’m concerned. And I don’t believe in use by dates. 

I ate a wrap my wife made one day. That night my arm specifically was hurting. 

We made a lasagna . I love lasagna. But something seemed different. The next morning I was in pain. I have a lasagna in my freezer waiting to be cooked. But I was in so much pain after the last, I don’t even want to look it it.

Basically I’ve been eating steak, ground beef, eggs, bacon, cheese and some other things. Chicken is not my friend I’ve decided. It can go straight through my system. Plus I think it is dry and chalky. Maybe I need to try things with dark meat. 

Liver I bought, and my wife was very excited. I read that beef liver is the most nutrient dense food on the planet. My wife made the liver soaked it and cooked it. the way people say to make it better. I still don’t like beef liver. I don’t like the texture. I don’t like the taste. I honestly don’t comprehend how anyone could like it. My mom said she liked it. How? Baffles me. I might try to make liver jerky, but that’s a different story. 

My brother came to visit San Antonio. I went to help them find there way around. They bought me lunch while we were out. Sandwiches for two days. The third day I said I can’t do the bread because I was hurting to bad. So we did something else. Great German food. And I wasn’t hurting later. 

My brother’s wife mentioned that my uncle, my dad’s brother had celiac disease. I did not even know what that was. So I looked it up. Apparently it effects the lining of the small intestine and the body can’t process gluten. 

Not everyone gets it, another brother had a DNA test and it said he was not going to have it. But because our uncle had it we are more likely to get it. What I read 1 in 140 people get it. 

I was kind of bummed about the fact that we went to a church activity and all the desserts were made with flour. That was a bummer. I have made bread for years. I love bread. But I love not hurting more. 

But then the other day I seemed to be having a lot of reflux. That can hurt. So I began searching. Along with that I quit eating anything and only drinking water.   But after two days I found that you should not be drinking  anything while you are eating and then wait about half an hour.  So I tried using that advice and everything is much better.

Do I want to live carnivore forever? No. 

I ascribe to the idea, “Let your Food be your Medicine, and let your Medicine be your Food.”  I used to think it meant having a well balanced diet. But “for everything there is a season.” I love lots of things I’m not eating at the moment. Apples, bananas, watermelon, certain veggies. Plus I love to grow lots of my own food. But if I have celiac disease I need to be more mindful of what foods I eat. 

I will admit I love eating bacon. Bacon is happiness. Eggs, steak, jerky, and other things. 

There are lots information out there that anyone can find it. I would never say people need to do the carnivore diet to be a good person. I want to eat lots of things I know I can’t. But we all need to be more mindful about what we eat. 

Valentine breakfast

16 April 2026….just an update

So I decided to cut my hair. Here are a few photos. 

The reason I let my hair grow is because it is warmer, but it is starting to get warmer in Texas right now. 

Do I look better. Probably. But I like being warm in winter, such as it is here. 

Before. 

After

So I will admit it is easier to take care of myself. 

14 April 2026….one more year.

So I guess today is an anniversary of sorts for me. 

13 years ago I had a stroke. 

I saw old posts from people on facebook, I  never saw the posts before. 

It’s nice to know a few people cared. I’m guessing more people cared than I realized. 

I had a pretty massive stroke 13 years ago. It was the kind of stroke that kills 99% of the people who have a similar stroke in the first 90 days. I’m going on 14 years now, just past the 13 year mark. So for better or worse I’m still moving around. 

That said my diagnosis is/was “Locked-in-syndrome”. Most people with the same diagnosis as me are only able to move their eyes and blink. I have a lot more ability than that. I use an electric wheelchair, but I can do things that most people with my diagnosis could never do. 

I lived for months in the hospital and I couldn’t move myself, I had to have my diaper changed and I had a catheter. Not my idea of a good time. I had no idea what had happened. I thought some kind of technology had been invented to keep me in my bed. Everyone thought I would never move again by myself. I still remember the day I was able to move my fingers by myself.  I wanted to show the physical therapist and occupational therapist. At the same time. So I went to my appointment and after they put me back in my chair before leaving, I moved a couple fingers on a hand. The one lady’s eyes got really big. I don’t remember much more than that at the moment. 

Over the next few months I was able to begin doing lots of things on my own. Using the bathroom, using my wheelchair by myself, using a walker, feeding myself. 

One thing that I didn’t really understand is how much effort is required to chew your own food. Mechanically processed is much easier. And tastes the same. 

Eventually a Doctor at the VA hospital felt I needed to go somewhere else. They called it a “skilled nursing facility”, most everyone called it a nursing home. 

In some ways I hated that place. One of many reasons, it smelled like crap. Literally. They would change the diapers of other people “warehoused” there and the stink was awful. But one thing I did learn how to do myself there was get on and off the toilet by myself. And that was not something they spent time teaching me. I figured it out by myself. My wife at the time said it was the best place that was recommended. 

Eventually I was recruited to go to another facility. Awesome. I got a private room and bathroom. They helped me take a bath everyday. And I was there until I said I would not go to any other facility. They asked me what should they do with me. My wife at the time didn’t want me at the house. But she sent me divorce papers while I was there. So I said put me on the street. I think that might have shamed people into working with me. 

So in a small nutshell that is my life for the first year after my stroke. What a rollercoaster. 

It’s been quite a ride since then. 

11 January 2025……happy birthday Grandma.

 

I have been thinking. Dangerous, I know. 

The immigration commotion is insane. 

I think immigration is important. 

But we need to follow the law about immigration. Full stop. 

That said we need to make some kind of change. This is part of an idea I had. 

If a person wants to be in the US the at present, the family unit need to have a sponsor, so the immigrants won’t become dependent upon the “system”. I had to go through a crazy ordeal with my wife and her son. That is a story in itself. 

Everyone that doesn’t want the illegal aliens to be deported should offer themselves as a type of “guardian/sponsor ” to insure they don’t create a social/monetary drain. The guardian would be responsible for all of the bills and behavior of the family unit that has been assigned to them.

 

Medical stuff, visits to the Emergency Room, any Hospital visits, medication. The immigrants or the sponsors pay the bill.

 

 If they have children they will pay for all expenses and fees associated with school. 

If they commit any crimes, drunk driving, capital crimes, littering, the sponsor is partially responsible. They have part, maybe half the responsibility. 

Vehicles. Accidents, making sure the vehicle is properly insured. 

Housing. The sponsor needs to always know where they are living. If the immigrants can’t pay by themselves for some reason, the sponsor will invite them to live in his/her house or will help them find a place for them to live and pay for it until they can pay for it themselves. 

Food. Immigrants or sponsors will pay for all food. 

So that’s a very thin slice of what immigration could/should be. 

I don’t think immigration should be considered illegal, still don’t want  anyone’s tax dollars to go to it.

18 December 2025……life just sucks sometimes.

The construction that the VA has been doing for my house is done. Still one grab bar that was back ordered. Anyway, I have been looking at plants that my backyard might like.  

I think peppers. Then fruit trees. Do I want native plants?  Do I want something that will just survive here?  There are so many things to consider. 

About the only thing I can do is watch plants grow. I can’t do much so I need to help. I am awesome at making a mess. Cleaning up after is almost impossible for me, some people would say it is impossible to me. 

The cleaning ladies made all the dust from construction go away. It is looking awesome again. My wife has been perfecting the cleaning. 

I am so tired lately.

The effects of my stroke make life difficult to handle some days. 

30 September 2025

 I will say, I am disgusted with what this world is coming to. 

A person using his first amendment right of free speech, made someone mad and he thought using a gun to kill the first person was the right answer. 

If you know who was killed great. If you don’t you’ve probably been living under a rock. If you don’t know, go look it up. 

I can barely believe that someone in my home state of Utah would do that. Well, Utah, the Wasach Front anyway, is the land of Gadiantons robbers. That is a joke and serious. Ask if you want, ask, I will explain. 

If you don’t have a problem with an assassination, I question your mental health. 

If you think the assassination was justified, get bent. 

I can tell anyone, anything I want, at any time. 

If you respond to me with a punch to the face, that is your right. The concept of “fighting words” is a legitimate legal concept still. Still,myou could get arrested. 

If my freedom of speech offends you, good. That is one way we know it’s working. 

If you want to not be offended by a movies speech, don’t watch Blazing Saddles. Better yet, do watch the movie. Then sit and wonder if you should laugh or cry. 

I probably won’t say a lot of things myself. Because it is so hard to talk sometimes. 

But I get so mad at some things. 

“Democrats”, and “Republicans” don’t exist anymore. Everything is MAGA or Left. Republican and Democrat monickers are just dying tradition. 

MAGA is me. It is also my uncle. He claims traditional Democrat. Most of my Aunts, uncles, cousins,siblings, are MAGA. Some liberal MAGA. Some conservative MAGA. Some are Left.

 

Traditionally, President Trump is a Democrat. But “Democrats” don’t exist anymore. So, MAGA. Elon Musk, traditional Democrat. Now MAGA. Tulsi Gabbard. Traditionally a Democrat. MAGA. RFK, JR. Traditionally Democrat. Now MAGA, MAHA. Lots of people from every political spectrum, MAGA. 

If you claim Left, you are closer to being the devil incarnate than I can say. You still deserve to be loved as a person.  You have little business being around humans.

10 August 2025… beating will continue until morale improves

 I love the VA Healthcare. It helps me a lot. My wheelchair. My glasses. Almost everything is great and I would use them for a lot. 

That said there are things that are not great. It’s still socialized medicine. At times you can wait forever. My stepfather had to have a heart attack before he could get the surgery he needed. He was on a wait list. Yes there are wait times, and that’s normal. Still, having to have a heart attack so you can get the surgery you need. Hmmm.

That said I am not asking that everyone be given everything they want, every time the ask. But there should be a baseline. 

I went Thursday to see about the possibility of getting a new and different kind of walker. Not exactly a walker. The best way I can describe it simply is like an adult walker/stroller. Not a stroller. But something that supports your body weight and allows you to use your own leg muscles and power. 

I went to the VA Thursday. My appointment was all screwed up from the beginning. I signed in, in the area, they sent me to another area. They looked in the computer for maybe 20 minutes. Then the lady came for me. We went back to the area we started. They were trying to figure out why I’m there again. I just got a new wheelchair Wednesday.

 

I got very frustrated. I can be ugly angry when I’m frustrated, (part of the fun of a stroke). Plus I have zero confidence with theVA about some things. Finally they told me I might be able to see someone that day. I should have said I would come back another day. That calmed me down some. I was very grateful my wife was there. I was at least able to get a hug. 

I finally got to speak with a physical therapist. We spoke about the device I wanted. She seemed to have some sort of mental block. Maybe she was just a jerk. Thinking that the device I want is exactly like a walker. The device I want is not exactly like a walking because it helps support my body weight. I am not able to remember everything perfectly, but it seemed like she was doing everything she could to try and encourage me to choose something else. Very VA tactic. Socialized medicine.

 (Fight for the republic and everyone’s freedoms, then practically all your healthcare will be in one of the same forms you helped fight against.) 

I digress. 

So after she tries to convince me I don’t want what I want. She asks me if I’d like to walk. Sure. 

She goes gets a gait belt, another person. I’m left waiting for a few more minutes. 

She comes back puts the gait belt on me. And finally I stand up with the walker. Naturally, I’m slow now days. I make it about 10 feet and she is trying to get me to stop. I could have easily made it back to my wheelchair, but she demanded it be brought to me. 

I was pissed. I don’t walk every day. But this crazy woman would not even allow me to try. 

I let everyone there know I wasn’t happy and said I want a real physical therapy evaluation. Not just someone who will talk to me for 15 minutes and think they know everything. I have to be honest, that lady was put in an awful situation. I was upset already and she had no time to really prepare. 

So the VA is pretty good most of the time. Some cool people, some weird people, but good people.

 

That lady yesterday, I have a hard time thinking of all the bad things that should or could to be said to her. 

I try really hard to not think and say mean things about people. Right now, almost impossible. I hate it when people act like self imposed gatekeepers. Creating impossible scenarios.