30 April 2020......happy birthday dad

This world is mad, crazy, idiotic, etc. 

Everyone seems to think the the president is giving medical advice. Just watch the video. I don’t hear him say anything like medical advice. Just questions. 

So I was called obtuse the other day. I had to look it up because I was unfamiliar with the context with which it was used. So the definition I looked up that was intended for me is lacking in sensitivity or slow to understand. 

I can see how some people might see me as insensitive. I’m fine with that. I would say otherwise. I hope others would to. Slow to understand. I would say that describes me to a T in many situations. 

So overall I am more obtuse by design. There is method to my madness. If you want to say it’s more madness to my method, I can live with that. I have many faults. I don’t always want to admit them. Who does. But I will. At times I have to. 

Now one thing that I am very bothered with right now is my AT&T cable service. The AT&T part is great so far. They came to my house set up everything. It was a lot faster than I thought it would be. Then there is the service they subcontract, Enjoy. All they want to do is deliver the product they deal with and leave it by the front door. I had a very hard time picking it up myself to take it inside. It stayed on the floor until someone could help me. I watched them open the box plug in the cables. Not hard. I have very limited dexterity. Standing is not something I can do well. I would not recommend the Enjoy. Even at this time in the world the most lazy unsupportive company I have had the misfortune of being forced to deal with. 

So some of my goals for life

Running type exercise. *Legs exercise. *

I stand while I attempt to make bread. It is so much easier to do things when standing. 

Write every morning. 

I am trying to figure out the best time of day. 

Floss teeth 

I get that most days. 

Volunteer

I do my own way. 

Budget

It is not fun and I don’t want to most of the time. I better get over myself. 

No robbing/borrowing from savings 

Not bad

Spend time in nature

It is something I like to do more these days. My opinion spend more time in the sun = less chance of getting corona virus. 

Read Book of Mormon daily Read General conference talks daily 

Ok. 

Bake at least one loaf of bread a week, hopefully sourdough. 

So, I am figuring out some easier ways to make some stuff.

22 April 2020......1 got a new scale

I almost want to lay down and laugh as I cry. This person that I have known for years blocked me on Facebook. I am not worried about it. Honestly I think it is almost funny. 

In a nutshell I like the president, he doesn’t. I ask him to explain why he doesn’t like the president. He gave me some vague information, sentimental reasons that doesn’t have anything to do with reason or logic. It boiled down to me saying that his argument didn’t make any sense. It was like me saying I don’t like people from New York. I do like people from New York. (I have my concerns about other places.)

If you don’t like the president that is your right. Still comparing him to Hitler, despite all evidence to the contrary. 

We don’t live in a country where you can’t exercise your freedom of speech. 

We don’t have concentration camps springing up anywhere. 

He hasn’t started any kind of thought police. 

I would say most people that are mad at the President, are mad because he is the president. 

The fact that he was elected is awesome and the best thing in a long time.

One other thing that I have been thinking about. Politician should not be a class of person. If you want to work in politics you should spend half of each year working in a real job. For example if you are a doctor, you should spend half the year seeing patients. If you work in logistics, you should spend half the year in a truck or wear house or whatever else it is logisticians do. If you’re a farmer, half the year should be spent farming. 

The idea that we have career politicians is stupid. I don’t know why we’ve allowed them to develop. It’s almost as bad as a king or anything with hereditary titles. 

So just a picture for today

17 April 2020......:)

So a few of my thoughts 

Cow Milk is meant for baby cows. Humans are not cows. If you have the goal to be a cow, you better rethink your life. 

Now this stupid carona virus crap is just beyond stupid, approaching plaid. 

The way everyone is so scared of dying. Everyone is going to die. If the carona virus doesn’t get you something else will. Sure I don’t want to kill someone else.  I don’t know anyone that does. All you need to do is make sure you are being thoughtful about good personal hygiene. 

Like has been said we all have one life and there’s no sequel. As far as I am concerned the politicians have made this into a bigger farce than it ever deserved. The media hasn’t helped with its fear mongering. 

Part of my annoyance at all of this is, I am living on borrowed time as it is. I’m one of the 1% that don’t die from the type of stroke I had. And I can do a hell of a lot more than most people that have a stroke like me. So, I’m living on borrowed time. My life is better than I deserve.  I get to try and bake bread. If I die the best thing.....what am I saying, I will still have to listen to the stupid warnings to protect yourself. But since I would be a disembodied spirt I can just go on doing whatever it is disembodied spirits do. 

Part of my annoyance might be the fact that my city and county governments got together and thought it was a good idea to tell everyone to wear masks. Maybe I should find a stormtrooper mask. I rarely go out anyway but I’m looking for some reason to be different or difficult. Especially in these stupid times we live in. (Upcoming sarcasm)If it’s not carona virus it’s the President. If I didn’t wipe my butt right and get a sore. It was the President. Now my city and country want me to wear face masks. It must be the President. 

Back to sincerity. I think we have a great President in the US. My opinion now. The best Presidents we have for a while now. President Kennedy. President Reagan. President Trump. Since WW2 those have been the best. Think what you like. 

This whole world has gone insane. 

Still life goes on in some form. 

I decided I need to give myself a reason to be accountable about some things. So here goes. 

Running type exercise. *Legs exercise. *

I will figure out something. 

Write every morning. 

I have been ignoring my alarms. Now maybe I won’t. 

Floss teeth 

I get that most days. 

Volunteer

I can’t do much besides throw money at problems so I do that and other things at times. 

Budget

I need to do this more consistently. I don’t do it properly if I don’t tell someone. 

No robbing/borrowing from savings 

Doing pretty well. 

Spend time in nature

I need to just go outside. That is better than nothing. 

Read Book of Mormon daily Read General conference talks daily 

General conference talks, doing good. Book of Mormon, I need to do better. 

Bake at least one loaf of bread a week, hopefully sourdough. 

Got this one.  After I bake my second loaf tonight I will share some more.

10 April 2020.....😂🤣😂🤣

I made the most yummy sourdough bread. About the best I’ve ever tasted. 

My son and my friend helped me some. I want to avoid falling into a hot oven. And sometimes the sticky gets to sticky. I was doing some study and I will keep a bowl of water to keep my hands wet while working. So I did a bout 75-80%. And that was without a mixer. Still I think I will be using a mixer in the future. 

I tried making some bread with a loaf pan. I used the mixer. It did not turn out like I wanted it. Still very yummy. 

Next thing my children brought me some grapefruit from a tree in their mom’s backyard. 12 years ago I was working in the Rio Grande Valley, along the border. Interesting times. Still I decided to grow a grapefruit seed. Now twelve years later it is making fruit. Very good fruit. 

I’m not dead from carona virus. If I die I will let you know. But I should be ok. I have a cat and she can scare it away. 

26 March 2020.......suck less

So, I am of two minds about this Coronavirus crap. 1) just stay home. That’s what I do most of the time anyway. 2) People just need to get back to work or the lifestyle we have all become accustomed to will stop. We might be living in a third world country (meaning the US) by the end of the year. I don’t seen my wheelchair holding up to well in those conditions. I would rather take the chance dying than have my children grow up in a hunger games kind of world. And not a district 1 type world, we already live in that. 2-12 type of world. Personally I don’t have a problem Dying so other people can live better in the future. 

I already know that regardless of what I do what happens will happen. I am just one person. I can cancel non-urgent medical appointments. I can elbow bump instead of shake hands. I’ve already been a house rat, I can continue to stay in. 

I’m not worried about life being hard. The people that bought all the toilet paper made life harder than it needs to be. 

So, again we discover life sucks sometimes. We already knew that. 

Trust the Lord. That doesn’t mean life won’t suck. I’ve learned recently how much the Lord saves us from ourselves. It doesn’t stop life from sucking. But it sucks less. 

16 March 2020

Bottom line up front. By the odds I should be dead. 

The type of stroke I had is not very forgiving. 90% die after 3 days. Of the remainder 90% die after three months. So 1% live. 99% die. 

I’m going on eight years since the stroke. 

I was just reading. Overall it’s kind of cryptic. 

Do I want to die? No.  But I am not afraid of it either. As far as I am concerned in many ways living for me is already a type of “Hell”. The unknown of death has no hold on me. For three weeks after my stroke I thought I was asleep and having a dream. Pretty wild and crazy dream. 

Do I want to be dead?  No. I am just not scared of it. Sure it’s unknown. Still I have had more than I want to admit of surprises the past 7 years. I say seven because that was when most of my hell began. 

So, I had the stroke. I had no idea. I just “woke up” in the hospital. I still can’t do things I wanted to do then. But I can use the bathroom and wipe my own butt now. I’m not wearing diapers like I was for a time. That is a hell I wouldn’t wish on anyone. 

If you want me to tell you about the hell that was the first year of my life after the stroke, call me. 

Year two after the stroke learned to do more things. Moved out of my parents apartment and to my own apartment. I may have needed help but I’m not an idiot or a baby. Sure I needed help. That passed. i still do at times

The rest of the years have just run together in many ways. 

I’ve gotten divorced twice. I got married once. Both cheated on me and both left me. It’s hard for me to believe I was that big of an ass twice. Who knows. 

I’ve had people and organizations offer to help me with things and then withdraw the offer of help very last minute. 

I have had people leave and drive off in my own car, making me go five miles in my wheelchair. The cold didn’t help. 

I’ve had attorneys refuse to work with me because of my ex-wife complaining about something that I was doing.  Something she didn’t like but the divorce decree clearly states I can do. 

I’ve had apartment management act like I am asking something unpardonable because I ask for a ramp to the dog park. 

These are just a few thing that have happened in my life. I have left out names to protect the stupid. 

I’m not going to try to convince you I am perfect or some sort of saint. I have more than my fair share of faults and shortcomings. Still it’s easiest most of the time to just be quiet  most of the time and just let people do what they do. 

I would love to go help someone pack or move. I do a very good job of getting in the way. 

I would love to sit and shoot the breeze. That makes me so tired. I have lots to say but no energy to say most of it. 

In many ways I have a very good life. Still my life is no fun. I am so tired of so may things. 

I’m not scared of death or hell. Hell is something I’m already living in. In many ways. In other ways my life is great. 

Death. I just don’t care. I plan to donate my body to science. After it’s done being used for a cadaver I want my bones cleaned and decorated to be used as a Halloween decoration. 

So that’s all I have to say about that. 

I decided to shave my mustache but leave the beard. So I’m kind of  a hybrid at the moment, Amish, Brigham Young, Klingon. At least I won’t be getting food in the mustache or eating it. 

I have been doing lots of research into sour dough bread. I have learned that it can be healthier than store bought bread. First, the natural yeast is something that can help you build immunity to local pathogens. Second, gluten is something that occurs naturally in bread making. But most bread is made at such a high rate of spread the gluten is not transformed in what our human bodies can use. 

This is just my opinion, most bread that we buy, is not worked enough to transform all the gluten into other chemicals human bodies can use. I would love to see a study. If someone knows of one send it to me. 

I think that the raise of gluten problems is because of the fact people have been consuming soft store bought breads that were made in less than a day. As I have been reading and studying most bread dough is made one day allowed to rest and baked the next day. This allows the gluten to transform into something that the human body can use better. 

12 March 2020......

So am I worried about carona virus?

Not really. 

When the bodies start stacking up in the streets to be burned that will be a much more reasonable time to worry. 

Just wash your hands after you go to the bathroom. At the very least lick them clean.