Wednesday,April 30 2014

So I need to write something but what. It is crazy, but I am having a hard time writing today. If you care to know it is my dad's birthday. In case you don't know, my dad died about 21 years ago. What the heck. I used to in a sick sort of joke, say to my wife, that I would die 20 younger than my dad because there was almost 20 years between the death of my grandfather and my dad. I thought it was funny at the time. 

So this has been an interesting week so far. I have been trying to get my appointments all figured out. Right now I think I would like to have all my appointments on Wednesdays if I can.  Today was the last day of the at home physical therapy. I was kind of bittersweet. 

I have decided that I need to spend some time everyday trying to drive my chair with my right hand every day. I used to use my right hand a lot but some how I got out of the practice of doing that. I like the mornings here and I can see so much that I normally can't. 

I am hoping that I will get some new shoes soon I will let you know how they are. If anyone has seen some good movies that you would recommend I am very open right now. 

Sunday, April 27, 2014.

So I had the greatest day this week. It was mostly in the evening so it was even better. 

First I got to go to the temple for the first time in I don't even care to think about how long. But it has been over a year. 

The man in charge of things wanted to see if I could get my hands to reach on a few things and I could.

It was a youth trip and so we were helping them for the most part with the baptisms for the dead that they were getting to do. If you need to know young people 12 and older if they are found worthy my go to the temple and help in things like baptisms for persons who did not have the opportunity to be baptized in there mortal life. 

It was pretty fun. 

I had the opportunity to do some blessings of sorts but that began to tire me out more quickly than I would have liked. So when I noticed that I was starting to slur my words and other such things I ask no be changed. 

They moved me to a place and a job that does not require speaking and I think I did much better. 

The sun was almost down when we left but it was such a beautiful day. I don't think you could ask for much better. 

We were headed in the direction of home and looking for some place to eat. I said why not the Brazilian steak house that wasn't far from the place were we where. But soon enough we were there and it was the best thing ever. Since I am in a wheelchair now we were able to park very close to the door. 

It was sooooooo good. More kinds of meat than you could ever think that you might want. But I  had to try some of everything. The salad bar was equally as good of course. But if I wasn't as selective I would probably just eat the meats the next time I go. 

I was dressed in a white shirt and white pants. I would have preferred to wear something different but I just pretended it was like New Year's Eve in Brazil. I Brazil when I was there the really rich people and those that really got into it would wear all white outfits that night. 

So I had a lot of fun. 

I don't get full so it was a lot of fun for me while we were there. When we went home I could feel it then. I normally self limit myself to one plate of food but if you go to a Brazilian steak house(churrascaria) so it's impossible not to eat a lot. I have said it before but I better say it again. Brazilian food is good for the soul. (Comida braziliera é boa para a alma.) 

I could have stayed to eat more but my mom and her husband felt the need to go so we went. I probably could have stayed and kept eating. 

It was more fun than one person should be aloud to have. One of the servers was very helpful in the way he cut the meat. Usually they cut you a big slice,  but this guy cut it in to small pieces so it was easier for me to eat. It was very appreciated. I think he was Brazilian but it can be so hard to tell. 

I was kind of disappointed in myself because I got my white cloths dirty. It is not the biggest deal in the whole world but it is very frustrating.

To put it mildly I left there very happy. 

I think I felt the after effects of it all later but it was so good I would gladly to do it again. 

The rest of this week has been very tiring. One day I had two doctors appointments. Another day I had to go to the DMV. And then I went back to the doctors another day. And that was enough to wipe me out. I was so tired one day I did not want to do anything. Well I better get this posted. Some of you may want to read it. 

Sunday, April 20, 2014

I have so much some days that I want to say and I come to write and I have forgotten so much. 

Maybe that is good but if I were to write myself notes to remember I would most likely be writing all day. 

I think I need to set myself time limits on most of the activities I want to do. It will help me move with a greater meaning. And it will help me to find the things that really need to be done, finished. 

I tried to order myself some new pants. I hope they get here soon. I ordered some dress shirts and they seem to be working pretty well. 

I have been trying to find some different ways to do some of the things, I do so I can do more things by myself. I am going to need some more practice. 

The most annoying thing right now is that people that are helping me and seem to be very helpful most of the time some people will not  talk to me but only the person that is with me. I have this to say I am not incompetent, talk to me. I have a masters degree and if you will stop being prejudice for one minute and try to just talk to me that would be nice. As I was once told, I am a grown man who is 40 years old. Talk to ME. I think that some people think that because I am in a wheel chair it's ok to treat me like a child. Guess what I am not a baby. And I don't mínd the help just please ask me first. 

I got my interview with the stake at church. So I am CTR. I have a current temple recommend. It is so nice to be ready to go. There is no place in the world that I would rather go or be than the temple. For those of you who are not familiar with the LDS (Mormon) church the lowest level is the ward, or the congregation level. One step higher is the stake level that has many congregations, or wards in it. Today I was able to get the higher level of the two interviews completed. I have been in the hospital for so long, that it is very nice to go anywhere right now. 

Yesterday was very nice because I went to Orang Leaf with my kids and parents. It was very good. If you have never been there it is very good frozen yogurt. Yum. I ate mine and then my daughters that she didn't eat herself. 

The past few days have been so full that I could not write one hundredth part of it all. 

Take care. 

Friday April 18, 2014

This has got to be the most interesting week ever. I am trying to get the hang of living in a new place I guess some people are surprised that I can do as much as I do. The nurse that came by to check my vitals asked if I needed someone to come by to help me with bathing. 

I think that lots of people are surprised by what I can do because lots of people think I should not be able to do anything. I guess there are lots of people that let others do things for them. Don't know because I just don't. 

I have a tendency to want to try to do things that are to difficult for me. There are a lot of things I can't do sure and I let people help me with things I can't do. But if I think I can do something I usually try unless it is night and I think I need to sleep which I usually do. For example I thought that it would be nice to sit on the couch and watch TV. Getting on to the couch was very easy. After the movie had finished I tried to get off the couch and back to my chair. Not nearly as easy.   The chair is higher than the couch. And softer also. After a few minutes of trying I got back in my chair, but it was a lot of work. 

Well I had better post this because well I just better. 

Monday, April 14, 2014

I am not sure what to say right now. So much has happened the past few days I am not sure what to say right now. I seem to be so busy right now with the therapy sessions and those can be really intense. The other day the guy that sold me the car I have took it to put in a system that holds my chair in place. So now all that needs to be done is seat belt me in. It is very nice but it has had a couple of kind of scary moments when the switch to let me out was not working. For a little while I thought I would have to sleep in my car. But it got worked out. All I can say is it is so nice to have a vehicle and not to have to be picked up. 

There are some people that think I am still the same person that I was before my stroke. Let me reiterate yes I am. And no I am not. If you want a more detailed explanation, please see the previous posts or just ask me. It can take me a while to talk but I will get it out. 

I am staying with my mom and her husband. And it's nice but the way I have hit some of the walls and door frames all I can say is sorry. I am the master of mayhem. The reaper of havoc. There isn't a doorframe that is safe with me around.  Bah bah bah. 

I was so tired the other day I just wanted to sit and not do anything. I don't think I have ever wanted to be or been so lazy in my whole life. 

 This is the most crazy world some days. My right side is more numb than it has probably ever been. I am thinking I will try using my manuel wheelchair around the house it might give me more exercise. We will see. The last time I tried my manuel chair I got so numb I didn't know what to think. But I guess it is time to try again. Well I had better get this posted. 

Hope everyone is well. 

Thursday, April 10, 2014. Me then and now.

Well for the most part the past few days have been very interesting. I need to make sure I take some of my meds better. I found out today that I forgot to take a med last night. And the one pill I forgot helps me control my emotions better. 

I wanted to share that it is getting easier to walk. Almost a year ago I was told that my wife was going to her dads from the conversation that followed I was told by my wife that she needed to find someone to watch that our kids. She ended up going with my kids to visit her family. I was diluted enough to think that I could watch the kids myself. I thought that I would be able to do all the things like did before. That I would be able to walk around while leaning on the walls for support from room to room. I would probably have to go to bed and rest but the kids could watch tv. Now I understand that I probably would have been able to do zilch. 

What I can do now is less than that I wanted to do before.  And it has been almost a year.   

It is hard for me to accept this at times.  Today is one of those days. 

The One thing that is the hardest fore me to understand is how a person can say something but mean and do something  entirely different. Not that we don't all do it but it can be a real pain in the butt. I was told by my psychiatrist that some thing I do is expect the world to be just and fair. My way of thinking if you say you will do something you just do it. 

Can I understand why some people think I should have stayed in the hospital. Sure. If they want to join me I will gladly go back. Enough said concerning the matter.

I can do a lot more than I was able to do before but right now it is really easy to tell the low energy days from the higher energy days. And you never know when exactly they will be. Today is more of a low energy day two days ago my energy was higher.

Well I have a lot to say but I am so tired right now. Take care.  

Sunday April 5 2014

So this weekend was different. I guess that is a good thing. 

Last night I went with my father in law to the priesthood session for general conference. For those that don't know, general conference is a time when we don't go to regular church meetings. We can watch a transmition that comes from Salt Lake City. That is an overly simplified version, if you want to know more just ask. But last night we had a taco dinner before the transmission and that was a lot of fun. I went with my father in law and I thought we were going a little early, but I guess not. 

We got there and we had tacos. Very good but very messy for me. I tried one hard shell and one soft shell and I just wanted to see which was less messy. It turns out in my case both are about the same.  But they sure were good. 

We stayed there for a while and I also had a root beer float at the end. It was all really fun and I got to see some people I haven't seen in a while. 

Today was Sunday and it was nice to just to not have to go any where. It seems like we have been going so much this week. 

My mom and her husband got there car today and that was pretty nice.  We had some visitors today but  fore the most part it was a very uneventful. Very nice day but not much happened. I am not sure that this will be the easiest week coming up but we will see what will happen. 

Saturday, April 5, 2014. (A new place again....)

So here I am in my new place. It's not so bad in fact it's pretty nice but well I am not sure were to begin. 

It's not like I remember that if I was such a pain before my stroke. I guess it am a pain now. I try to keep myself under such tight control maybe  I am to strict with myself most of the time. And I try to keep myself in to much control. I am not sure I can find a happy medium. I got upset at my mom because I thought she was treating me to much like a baby as we were on our way to a doctors appointment the other day. When we got to the doctors appointment the dr barely talked to me. What a pain. She kept talking and turning back to my mom and my mom kept directing her back to me. Thanks mom. 

After we went to the doctors we went to the bingo night that is every week.  I have been going to it for a long time now and it is a lot of fun. It is even more fun when you win which I have had the privilege of doing two weeks in a row. I almost had the same privilege of doing the same thing this last time.   

It has been an interesting coming to the apartment that I am in now. The first two days we were here it was a real pain especially If i needed to go to the restroom.   I tried to figure out a few different ways. I finally, yesterday got a bar to help me pull myself up and if I could only say how wonderful that was to have that I can't say enough. 

There is an idea that I have had that in so many ways that if I just got to someplace else I would just magically get better. I guess it doesn't happen that way. Things just seem harder. I guess that is good at times but it is sure no fun. 

This one lady at the last place I was has some chocolate lab puppies. It sounds a lot of fun but now that I have been here a few days I just think it would be to hard. I like the idea but it would be so hard right now. 

The first of my therapists came by and it wasn't to bad. I seemed to have more difficult to walk than normal but I think the therapist was pleasantly surprised I think overall. 

I really like some of the niceties this place has to offer but I am sure I will need and have to go slower than my mind wants to.  I have prided my self for the longest time that I am a realist but now I'm not sure in that regard. Maybe I was just drowning in my own reality and maybe I still am.

I had a friend come by with some videos a couple of days. After the fact I found out he was more here as a babysitter at my moms request. I didn't mind to just watch the videos that was a lot of fun. I need to learn to be a better host. I didn't get to hungry so I didn't offer more. If I just ate like I used to I would would probably blow up like a balloon. So it might be hard for some to not eat. I have this thing that I like to stay very clean. And I have noticed that most foods can be more messy than I like.  

So this is a new adventure for me. If you have any questions for me I would be glad to answer what I can.