Friday 17 July 2015.....heres to new beginnings.

So I have been thinking for a long time. I know that is hard to believe for some people but hopefully you will get passed all that. 

We have lots of muscles in our body that we don't think about. Some are very obvious because we see them despite our skin.  There are lots that we never think about. For example everyone has to pee. We hold it as long as we can at times. The fact is our body is full of muscles that we don't think about. I have had to build my strength in all my muscles and that can really be a pain. 

The simple fact is I am what you could say is messed up. I am an emotional mess some days.  I am far from "normal". 

My emotions are a real pain. I hate having to be "stone faced" most of the time. I can have and do have all the same emotions as anyone. I really have to keep myself on a tight leash some days. I can laugh uncontrollably. I can cry uncontrollably. I can get angry uncontrollably. All emotions can be a real problem for me. It can be a real problem for others as well and if others have have a problem then I have more. It is really is a pain for me. Those people that knew me before my stroke knew me as a person that relied on my emotions a lot. I cant use emotions like I once did. 

I really hate the way this stroke has changed so many things for me. But I guess that is the one constant, change. 

I want to say a little about and to family now. 

Marcy, my wife, I love you more than anything. You are the greatest person in my life. I am so incredibly blessed and lucky to have you in my life. I wish I could do more for you. I love you more than anything and life would be worthless without you. 

My 16 year old step-son. You are amazingly smart. I always thought I was smart but I bow to the real smart man. We will always fight for you. 

My 13 year old stepson. You have the biggest heart I have ever seen. You support your mom so much and are a very hard worker. 

My 2 year old stepson. You are so cute and have so much potential. Your mom and I want everything good for you. 

My 13 year old son. You will always be my big dude. You are so amazing. 

My 10 year old son. You are the definition of smart. I am truly amazed at everything you do. 

My 8 year old son.  You are the definition of you. You are a true original in every way. 

My 5 year old daughter. You are my warrior princess. The only person tougher than your brothers is you. 

I am sure I could say more but I stop there.