Thursday 11 February 2016.....and again.

My life is less than ideal. I'm not sure what ideal is right now. 

I think...that might be the trouble.  I think. 

There are to many hours in the day for me right now. 

Everything is crazy. 

 

There is so much I want to to say. I can't remember a thing. 

I want to read. Write. 

All I end up doing is sitting.

I came across this again as I was kinda studying.   

 For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father. 

(Mosiah 3:19, Book of Morman)

I needed that. In a nutshell my life sucks in so many ways. There are times when I think I can't take it anymore. I just have to remember to shut up and drive on. I am not the type of person to share everything about my life. I very much believe in talk therapy, I used to provide it. It can be very hard to talk now and it can exhaust me. 

I hate the fact my life has becomes other people's "entertainment". I might have to live with that forever. One thing I really dislike, even hate, is how some people essentially say "oh I'm not talking bad."  Your version of "true" may have little reality in it. 

One thing I saw this morning was a news report about my home town. Vernal, Utah. Big oil town. The Dinosaur capital of the world. It was a great place to grow up in many ways. Other ways no so much. It is either boom or bust. 

Right now it's in the bust side. Gas is inexpensive so the town is not doing the best. 

Now I'm going to get on my soapbox. 

Life is hard. Some people, myself included, believe in paying tithing. If you don't your choice. I will say you should really consider it. Not the point. 

If I am willing to pay tithing to God, it might be a good idea for me to pay/save an equal amount for myself. I'm not saying I am equal to God in anyway. I'm saying that if God gets a portion of my money then I do to. 

Most of the things I buy end up getting broken and turn to crap. I'll just put my money in savings. 

Ok. I'm done.