28 December 2019......so how many days to Christmas?

So I have been thinking and contemplating how we do certain things. I learned about how some countries do taxes and I like the ideas. 

So in some places the people who are more likely to need and use welfare are the people that pay the highest tax rate. The more money someone makes the lower the tax rate. 

In a way it makes perfect sense. If you want to keep more of the money you earn you do more to have a higher wage. 

I like the idea that if you earn more money you pay less taxes. If you earn more the less likely you would be to need government, or any kind of assistance. 

Going hand in hand with that idea is what you go to college for, if you do go. Honestly I think college is mostly a scam. If a person were to choose the right major then it could be a good idea. 

Regardless, I think everyone should minor in business. Your major will determine the business you are in. Education. Education business. Health care. Health care business. Art. Art business. Science. Engineering. Music. The common denominator is business. Are you running a family. You still have income, expenses. It’s all very similar to a business. 

That said college should not be thought of as the be all and end all. If you install cable, internet, run a back hoe, drive a truck, build beautiful furniture, are a master chef, etc., the world needs you. 

I say you don’t need to go to college to be successful.  I have a college degree but I feel I was well on my way to being homeless. Luckily I found the Army. Not the easiest way to live but it’s not bad. Still before that, I was a teacher. I did not mind teaching, but the educational system was horrible. Ugh. There are less painful ways to earn money. Like being in the military.

Still be very careful if you do go to college what you get your degree in. Pray about it. Think about it. Personally I know people that got the same degree as me, theater education, and, while I love it, neither theater or education is going to make you a living unless you are lucky and very gifted. Neither are many other subjects. 

While I loath saying it the department of education and the department of labor have some very good tools to help a person make a well informed decision. On a side note I think it would be better if they were one entity. The fact is there are so many options available to us. 

Personally I would never encourage anyone to pursue a career as a professional athlete. Still, if I could do what they do, it would be stupid to turn it down. That’s me. If you can get a million dollars by staying in shape and playing a game, do it. Still, most of us live in the real world. If your an athlete or some other kind of professional entertainer you live in a world apart. 

I have a masters degree in the soft sciences, Social Work. I love most of what I had to learn. Still.  It is not something that will make you rich. We all have our skills and talents. I say learn your math. Learn your science. But think about what you can do. What you want to do is nice but not the most important. Someone my want to fly like super man. Probably not going to happen. I want to walk. That is not going to happen anytime soon. I would love it if people would laugh every time I say something I mean to be funny. I get myself in lots of trouble if I try to be funny. 

What we want is not as important as what we can do. We need to aspire to be more than we are. We can all help in some way. We can’t all be like Tony Robins. The man never got a college degree but he helps more people than I can count. He helps. We all get sick at times. Doctors and nurses help, and help lots of people. 

One way we need to think of ourselves is a cog in the machine of life. How are we making life better for ourselves and others. We may not help everyone. Still we could help one person. And at times that is enough. 

16 December 2019

I have had a hell of a weekend. My cat was acting fine last week. Then Wednesday she started acting lethargic. She didn’t walk. Didn’t want to eat. I wasn’t to worried the first couple of days. By Saturday morning I knew something really wasn’t right. She had vomited blood by the front door. I was going to go out. Suddenly my plans changed. I tried calling several people. Finally I was able to get my son to come help. He cleaned the yuck she made and we took her to the vet. The vet checked her and decided there wasn’t much that could be done. So the vet sent us to the emergency clinic for animals. 

There they tried to help her. She even stayed overnight. I got a call From the vet letting me know they would watch her and call me the next day. After church and eating lunch, I called the animal clinic. The cat was not doing any better. 

I called someone to drive us picked up my children and went to the animal hospital. They got her and lay her on a table in a room. She did not move at all. We had all been hoping for a miraculous recovery. She just lay there. Everyone was bawling. Finally my daughter pushed the button to have them give the cat a painkiller. After that the cat raised her head a couple times. It was most likely the painkillers were making the cat not mind moving. Side note. I feel that way some days after I’ve had ibuprofen or some other kind of painkiller. The thing was the cat had sores in her mouth and would not eat or drink. 

Finally my daughter again pushed the button to call the Vet in. The vet administered the final two shots and she slipped peacefully away. My children were devastated. I was kind of a mess myself. 

The worst thing for me is the cat’s food container and water container are still out and waiting for her. I keep expecting her to walk into a room or something else. I’m sad she is not here. 

My dad and my grandma would probably really get after me. For them cats were outside animals. That was another time and another place. 

One thing about me while I have been writing this I start bawling a couple of times. It has not been the easiest watching her digression. I hoped she would be with me a lot longer. 

One thing I have learned is for every situation we put ourselves in it is good to figure your exit route how ever roughly. Getting a cat is fun. What can happen at the end not fun. 

I think I will have to make a special savings account for the next animal I get. Kind of like having a will and advanced directives for me. But that is for next time. 

Right now I think I will just curl up in the corner. 

6 December 2019.......why is .....grrrr

What  does the Lord sound like?

In the Old Testament, it says

“And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake:

And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.” 1 Kings 19:11-12 

This is the typical way the Lord works, “a still small voice.” He is always talking to us. Are we listening?

There have been other times recorded in scripture, when the Lord works slightly different. 

First, Paul the apostle. He was on his way to do bad things, and let bad things be done, to the early Christians. Then he was stopped by what most of us would consider a miraculous event and he became one of the very people he was, or had been trying to pursue. 

Second, Alma the younger, the prophet and high priest among the Nephites. When he was younger he went around with others trying to destroy the church. Finally, while he was traveling, like Paul, he and the group he was with was stopped by an angel. Definitely not typical. 

So these are just two examples of how the Lord doesn’t usually work. Some of us might want an experience like that but that is not how the Lord works most of the time. 

We have to remember “still small voice.”

At times he has to get someone’s attention in a very dramatic moment. The Lord knows who he needs to do his work. He might have to get some people’s attention in a very dramatic way but I doubt that is his method of communication in future events. 

Does The Lord communicate with me. Of course. I would say that He communicates with everyone at times and in some fashion. He is always “talking” to us. Are we listening?

Like Christ taught. 

“... what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?

 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?

 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”

Matthew 7:9-11

Everything is in His time. We can’t expect everything to be in our time. If everything happened in my time I would be walking. But I shouldn’t complain. I always have a place to sit down. 

27 November 2019.....happy day before

This has been a wild day. I am not sure what to think about all that has been happening. 

So I have been considering a scripture Ether 12:27, 

“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”

We are all weak and strong in our own ways. I say it something like this, the Lord gives us responsibilities/callings to build us up. After we almost have it perfect He releases us and moves us to the next assignment. We level up. 

In a way we go to a new set of challenges. After we know we can handle one kind of challenge, we go to something different. Kind of like line upon line, here a little there a little 

So, I have been eating lots of popcorn lately. Popcorn is good. Not all are created equal. The kind I like is RIEHLE’S SELECT. Very good popcorn. As far as I know it can only be bought online. I bought another kind at the grocery store. It was different from typical popcorn, still it was like eating styrofoam. No flavor. Perfect for salt and butter. The RIEHLE’S SELECT very good. I like to eat popcorn that is plain. No salt. No butter. The real flavor of the popcorn shines through. It is very subtle, but it is there. 

The popcorn in Brazil was good. Most here in the US is like eating packing peanuts. Not all. Still it’s not the easiest to find good stuff. 

8 November 2019....

So I go to a salon to get my fingernails and toenails cut. I also have my fingernails painted with a color-changing polish/shellac. Today it’s blue that changes to white it the heat, or is it white that changes to blue in the cold? Regardless, it helps me to identify  when my hands are getting to cold. I have poor circulation in one of my arms and hands. I may have one hand one color and the other a different color. 

The polish is a good reminder that I need to warm my hands at times. I like to think I’m still tough at times. Despite the fact a two year old could overpower me, I need to watch out for some things myself. Sure, I still think I’m tough. I don’t know if I’ve ever been that tough.

So I get nails done. Personally, I don’t understand the fascination. I went with my sister, her daughter and my children. My sister posted on Facebook that I took them to be “pampered”. Honestly. I don’t see what is so pampering about it. For me it’s just something that needs done. I can’t cut my own fingernails, so I have someone do it for me. 

Honestly, it’s almost like going in for an oil change. I don’t care about most of the stuff. It’s just maintenance. 

Pedicure, now that’s another story. I honestly don’t know why I didn’t start that earlier in life. Everyone should have pedicures. 

I have been trying to figure out what I really need to spend my time on. I have had to go from once a day to once a week. It is terribly frustrating because I was at one period in my life a very active person. Since the stroke I’ve had some of the most amazing gains. I feel for the first time that I have hit a plateau and if I want to go any higher and make any more gains I’m going to have to work twice as hard. I don’t have the energy to go harder most of the time. 

For those don’t know, I was wearing diapers for a time, 6 years ago. I have moved beyond that stage. I still feel incredibly frustrated even though I know I am very blessed. I need to remember Alma 29:3, “But behold, I am a man, and do sin in my wish; for I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me.” Maybe I don’t understand the verse of scripture well. Still I have more to be thankful for than I will probably ever realize. That doesn't mean you can’t feel down, tired. That is called life. 

5 November 2019

So I feel I should offer some explanation of my perspective of the world. 

First, I’m in a wheelchair. Since I don’t walk I see things from the perspective of a short person. About 4 feet when I’m  sitting down. But at one period in my life I was a walking person, 6 feet 1 inch. You don’t see things, literally, when you are taller. But now that I am shorter, most of the time, I don’t notice everything up high. 

That is one thing. 

So, God and religion and science. 

Now if someone where to ask me how and why an iPad or tablet works I might just say it’s magic. I know that some might try to explain a lot of technical terms. Usually that just makes things worse for me. If someone were to ask me, I would just say it does and that’s enough. If you want to call it magic you can. Some of our science today might look like magic to someone who lived 200 or 300 years ago. 

Leonardo da Vinci said “Mathematics is the language with which God has written the universe.” I would say math, sciences; biology, physics, astronomy, geology, medicine, etc., etc. It’s all part of Gods handiwork.

Some people say a researcher must maintain a distance from what they are researching. That is all well and good if humans are not the subject. If you are just studying the human body cadavers work. Live humans with emotions, thoughts, feelings, etc., etc.  

There are the hard sciences. There are the soft sciences. You may have your own definition for each. For me anything that involves humans very directly, while they are alive is more of a soft science. At some point relationships are involved. Humans are not merely animals. Yes, some traits are similar to animals but that is a different story. 

So, intelligent design my not be a widely accepted theory. That hardly means it’s not valid. As valid as The Big Bang and Evolution. 

Intelligent design 

Math needed

Biology needed

Physics needed

Geology needed

Astronomy needed

Astrophysics needed

Human physiology 

Animal physiology 

Botany

I would say you would be hard pressed to find a science that might not be relevant. 

Big Bang

A big explosion happened a long time ago and everything just started to happen. 

Evolution 

All life in its current form got to be the way it is by chance, lucky or otherwise. 

Is the Big Bang real? Possibly. Is evolution real? Possible. I would say it is much more likely that some kind of intelligence caused the Big Bang and selectively used evolution. 

I know it’s not a widely accepted belief. But saying that it’s not science shows some arrogance and I would say some ignorance. Science, Pseudoscience. Honestly. Two apples that fell from the same tree. It just depends on where you are standing or sitting. 

How did it all happened, who knows. Assuming that we as humans have all the facts, is arrogant at best.

Now, I would say, we as humans, have been trying to make square pegs fit in round holes. Ultimately leeks will occur. 

Now about creation. Some people say 6 day and on the seventh day God rested. 

But how long was Gods “day”? 

In 2 Peter 3:8 “But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day ​is​ with the Lord as a thousand ​​​years​, and a thousand years as one day.” 

Also, a book and scripture of my religious tradition. 

“And the Lord said unto me, by the Urim and Thummim, that Kolob was after the manner of the Lord, according to its times and seasons in the revolutions thereof; that one revolution was a day unto the Lord, after his manner of reckoning, it being one thousand years according to the time appointed unto that whereon thou standest. This is the reckoning of the Lord’s time, according to the reckoning of Kolob.” Abraham 3:4, Pearl of great price. 

So maybe 6,000 years creation? But how much time was between each “day”?  Who knows exactly. 

So, just my thoughts, maybe the first day or thousand years the earth was formed. Then God left for a time, before he came back for the second day or thousand years. Kind of similar to a construction crew will pore a cement foundation but would not finish the rest of the house until they are sure the cement is set and ready. 

So to create anything takes time. Like is said “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Things take time. One thing I am grateful that having a stroke has taught me is some things take time. I love next or same day delivery in the modern US society. The US and many other places are so much the exception. I can order some things and Amazon delivers them the next day. I can order my groceries online and have them delivered in three hours where I live. The thing is, most things take time. Before day two how much time past?

My understanding is God works within law. We don’t understand all the laws that he does. He can make things happen that defy human explanation. That doesn’t mean it’s magic. Does not mean there is no explanation. Just means we don’t have the knowledge and understanding at the moment. 

Can I definitely prove my belief. No and regardless of what you believe, no matter how much scientific information you have, no one can prove I’m wrong. That is where faith and hope have to work on us individually. 

What I can do is love my neighbor. All the stuff I mentioned before I think is fun, and in someway is important but. How am I treating my neighbors. Am I helpful or just making myself feel better. 

18 October 2019

Today is the first morning I have felt good I quite a few days. I have not wanted to do much. 

I decided to cancel my Netflix subscription. There is hardly anything good on. I’ve decided that I will just use my amazon prime account. I did breakdown and get a CBS allacess because I want to watch Star Trek. That’s how I roll. 

I was looking at Facebook.  I guess some people have unfriended me. I don’t care to much. I do care a little. Still that’s how life goes. Still I wonder what I must have posted that made them think I am such a “dangerous” individual. I don’t post some things that everyone would agree with. I don’t care if you disagree with me. That is part of what makes life beautiful is not agreeing with each other. 

At times I can be down right crude. Life isn’t always pretty, but it can have meaning in the darnedest places. 

Life is messy, it’s unfair at times. It’s well set and beautiful at other times. 

I have come to realize I have to not worry about doing as much as I want. I have to go very slow if I want to get anything done. I hope I get the right balance. 

I am not the biggest fan of the VA at the moment. I have been trying to contact certain people for months and keep being directed away. Maybe ignored. Very frustrating. 

Just so you know, I’m putting the house idea on hold for a few months. 

7 October 2019.......so, still not dead yet.

29 September 2019

So one of my favorite bands The Cure was induced into the Rock and Roll hall of fame yesterday. Personally I think that gives the institution some credibility. Some bands makes sense that they have been included. Others, I think what a joke. 

I can’t believe it has been so hard to get up recently. I don’t want to sleep anymore, but my body is to tired to move. Plus after I get up my body is sore all over. I don’t get it. 

So I have decided I want to buy a house. I love living in my apartment but I am ready to move on. Maybe I will want to move back to an apartment after I leave. But it is going to be a rough road. 

Monday I will go to the bank and see if they can help me. 

I have other ideas as well but we will have to see. 

5 October 2019

I am tired of hearing about politics. I look at the various networks and have decided that it is all cheap entertainment. Regardless of what channel you watch, it’s just entertainment. Now some state and cities sometimes  Democrats and Republicans have little differences. National and Federal government is a joke. Some cities and states are as crazy as the day is long. Still a majority of states seem fairly rational. Still there are exceptions. 

I am tired of so much. My body hurts all the time. 

My children and me watched the Addams Family movies. They loved them. 

7 October 2017

I am so tired and weak today. At least I have a doctor appointment. I could barely raise my hand enough to wipe my butt earlier. Something is not right. I’m worried I will go to the doctor and they will say “Oh, you had a stroke.”  No kidding. I have been weak all the time. It has gotten to the point that I don’t want to do a damn thing. I went to the bank the other day but I was so tired then I arrived back home I didn’t want to do a thing. 

The thought of going anywhere sends me into tears. My son was helping me sort my medication and put it in my pill box. I looked like I wanted to bawl and I felt even worse. 

The only place I feel somewhat better and some sort of relief is in the shower. The thing is it is so hard for me to get in the shower.  Everything is like that for me recently. Food prep and eating. Boxes of stuff I want to go through. 

I went to a psychologist last week. I think he was bothered that I was not more of a basket case. My thinking is great in many ways. What I am realizing right now as I am writing is that my body is having a very hard time doing anything that I feel I need to do. Some things don’t need to be done by my but some do. I truly have no desire to go back to someone wiping my butt or worse changing my diaper. 

I am not sure what kind of help to ask for. I need something. Help that is. I just don’t know what kind. One of the hardest things for me to do is ask for help of any kind. Well, I am doing so now. If you want to message me great. If you can let me use your muscle so I can move or get rid of somethings, wonderful. Help please. 

17 September 2019.....be excellent to each other

So I have been thinking how I will do some of the things I have to do during the day. I have so many things that I think and feel I should do. Some things have no specific time they need to be done. Other things have very specific times. So every morning I can arrange my schedule so that things get done. 

I can give myself a very specific schedule before I get dressed and ready for the day. Then give myself some time to plan and then move things around. Some people my think this is to easy. I’m not as quick as some people. 

So different topic. My body needs the one medication I take badly. It got very low in how much I had. My body got so tight without the medication. After I got it again and put it back into my body properly my body began to relax and rest. I was so tired because my body had been so tight. It is crazy how it all works. I just wanted to sleep the rest of the day. 

Now look at this picture 

In some ways it is overly simplistic, every individual is more complex ,but it explains well the battle everyone has with emotion and logic. One is not better than the other but both MUST work together. Neither is better than the other. In a way they work together very well. But in other ways they appose each other. We are all in this way in some fashion. 

Now 2 Nephi 2:11-12 says

“For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so,..., righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.

 Wherefore, it must needs have been created for a thing of naught; wherefore there would have been no purpose in the end of its creation. Wherefore, this thing must needs destroy the wisdom of God and his eternal purposes, and also the power, and the mercy, and the justice of God.”

There are so many things that I hate, but life has to be that way. If it’s all my way, that would mess things up. If it’s all someone else’s way that would mess things up. In a way it’s a good thing that no one can be completely satisfied. We need to strive for excellence, not perfection.

10 September 2019......why me?why not me?

7 September 2019

I am so busy lately. I am not as busy as many people I know. Still some things have been a nonstop roller coaster. 

I think in some ways I have had the effects of my stroke increase or maybe I had some backsliding. My body is constantly sore,I’m an emotional wreck, and my memory slips. It’s like I’m a much older person, maybe 150 or 200 years old. 

There so much going on with two children in high school, and two others. 

10 September 2019

So my brain has been working through a lot of things. I need to slow myself down a lot. I feel like I’m going at a snails pace. So slow I can’t stand it. I need to go slower in certain ways. I can’t stand it in some ways. I have so much that I want to do. Better to do some things than none at all. 

It’s almost like I progressed to a certain point and I hit a point that it’s like if I want to make anymore progress I’m going to have to work harder. So now I have to choose very carefully what I want to do. I have lots of ideas. Some things there is very little chance that I could do, either because I don’t have the mental skills or the physical ability. 

I continue to have to remind myself,”You had a stroke.”  You would think it’s not such a hard thing to remember. It shouldn’t be, but I had almost 40 years when I was “normal”. Now it’s been almost 6 years that the stroke happened. Some things I can remember great from that time period. Some things I don’t remember at all. Brain injuries are like that. 

16 August 2019

12 August 2019

So, I have to laugh a little. I was accused of being racist the other day. After I said I better tell my Brazilian fiancée, the person backtracked a little and said what I was writing/saying made me sound racist. 

If people want to think of me as racist because it makes them feel more justified about what they are saying, fine. I will let people think whatever he or she wants. Those who know me know that I am one of the least racist people you could ever meet. 

I have a simple way of thinking about race. If you bleed red you are a member of the human race. So far I haven’t met anyone that bleeds any other color. If you know of someone just let them live. 

I’m not naive enough to say that racism doesn’t exist. It is an unfortunate reality of life. I’ve been around the world racism exists everywhere. Korea. Has it’s racists. Brazil also. England. If you really want to find people that are racist you don’t have to look to hard, they’re out there. They are stupid as the day is long, but they are out there. 

One thing I have learned from my travels. Your skin doesn’t need to be a specific hue for you to be racist. I’ve been lots of different places and there are a lot of different kind of racists. 

16 August 2019

So life is complex and complicated and really hard when humans are involved. I am tired in so many different ways right now. 

One thing that is fun recently is that my children and I decided to get a cat. She is a beautiful cat. We thought we would get off cheap because she was a stray. Ends up she was the most expensive stray. After the apartment fee, veterinarian, and items from the pet store so even I can take care of her. Wow. But she is a very sweet cat. 

I feel like I want to say so much. At the same time it would just be words. I’m not eve sure it would be good words. Life is more and more complicated all the time recently. I feel like I should ask for prayers. I’m just not entirely sure what I should ask people to pray for. 

12 de agosto de 2019

 Então, eu tenho que rir um pouco.  Eu fui acusado de ser racista outro dia.  Depois que eu disse que é melhor contar para a minha noiva brasileira, a pessoa voltou atrás e disse que o que eu estava escrevendo / dizendo me fez soar racista.

 Se as pessoas querem pensar em mim como racista porque isso as faz sentir mais justificadas sobre o que estão dizendo, tudo bem.  Vou deixar as pessoas pensarem o que ele quiser.  Aqueles que me conhecem sabem que eu sou uma das pessoas menos racistas que você poderia conhecer.

 Eu tenho uma maneira simples de pensar sobre raça.  Se você sangrar vermelho, você é um membro da raça humana.  Até agora eu não conheci ninguém que sangra de qualquer outra cor.  Se você conhece alguém, apenas deixe-os viver.

 Eu não sou ingênuo o suficiente para dizer que o racismo não existe.  É uma realidade infeliz da vida.  Eu estive em todo o mundo o racismo existe em toda parte.  Coréia.  Tem racistas.  O Brasil também.  Inglaterra.  Se você realmente quer encontrar pessoas que são racistas, você não precisa procurar muito, elas estão por aí.  Eles são estúpidos como o dia é longo, mas eles estão lá fora.

 Uma coisa eu aprendi das minhas viagens.  Sua pele não precisa ter um tom específico para você ser racista.  Eu tenho muitos lugares diferentes e há muitos tipos diferentes de racistas.

 16 de agosto de 2019

 Então a vida é complexa e complicada e muito difícil quando os humanos estão envolvidos.  Estou cansado de tantas maneiras diferentes agora.

 Uma coisa que é divertida recentemente é que meus filhos e eu decidimos comprar um gato.  Ela é uma linda gata.  Nós pensamos que sairíamos barato porque ela era uma perdida.  Termina ela era a mais cara.  Após a taxa do apartamento, veterinário e itens da loja de animais, então até eu posso cuidar dela.  Uau.  Mas ela é uma gata muito fofa.

 Eu sinto que quero dizer muito.  Ao mesmo tempo, seriam apenas palavras.  Eu não tenho certeza que seriam boas palavras.  A vida é cada vez mais complicada o tempo todo recentemente.  Eu sinto que deveria pedir por orações.  Eu não tenho certeza do que devo pedir às pessoas para que orem.

5 August 2019.........what to do, what to do

So I have decided I need to find a house to buy or rent. I am not sure what the best thing is to do at this time. My credit has been destroyed so badly I didn’t think I can do anything but lease. I am not happy about my options. I really would love to figure something out. I might ask my mother to go and drive us around I a couple of neighborhoods I have been thinking about. 

I need to get some boxes. Some things in my apartment need to be packed up for the time being. 

I am tired of some people that talk insistently. Then if it suits there purpose, you can’t get the person to say one word. I would love to be able to talk all the time. It tires me out me out to talk. I hate being so tired because there are other things I would like to do also. I have decided that talking is a much lower priority. I I have the idea that I would like to practice singing. It will help build my diaphragm muscles. And maybe I will learn how to speak better as well also. I will see how it goes.

3 August 2019

Running type exercise. *Legs exercise. *

I need to do something, anything. I have been acting tired and that doesn’t help. 

Write every morning. 

I have been acting like I am to tired. That makes me not want to do anything. 

Floss teeth 

I have been doing this. 

Volunteer

My volunteer work has been donating what I can. I can’t do much else but I can donate. 

Budget

I need to make a regular schedule. 

No robbing/borrowing from savings 

Ok.  

No Facebook until after budgeting is done *daily*

Not sure this is relevant now. 

Spend time in nature

No. 

Read Book of Mormon daily *Read New Testament daily*

So I finished the New Testament. Now I think that I need to go back and reread again since we are focusing on New Testament in church. 

“stand as witnesses” of the gospel at all times—and when necessary, use words.

29 July 

I want to say so much. It just doesn’t help at times. We all have our superpower. Mine is listening. Listening requires not talking. I like to talk. Listening is more important I would say. At times we have to talk. 

My children have been with me for a while. It has been fun, tiring, a never ending thrilling ride. 

Tires the heck out of me. 

August 3

So some people my not understand why I use a tablet for almost everything. Pens and pencils are very hard for me to use. I have a stylus but prefer to use my fingers. It is hard to hold a stylus. Books are wonderful,so I keep them on my tablet. It is much easier to turn pages. Paper and ink books I just destroy. 

But I love having quick access to almost everything I need. Some things I still keep just in a hard copy. Still I’m not as paranoid as I used to be. Some paranoia is justified but in my physical state not much. 

16 July 2019.......Frito pie.

8 July 2019

So, I got home last week. Opening the mail.  I am I have been recovering. The weight of my body is too much for me to move so I have been doing a lot of sitting around. I may try to go out today. 

So I don’t know what it is but I have been a lot more tired the past few months I don’t have nearly the strength that I have desire. So what do I do.  I have been thinking it might be fun to get a cat but I do not know what kind of cat and I do not like the way the house smells if it gets on things so who knows. 

Então, cheguei em casa na semana passada. Estou Abrindo o correio.  Eu estou me recuperando.  O peso do meu corpo é demais para eu me mover, então tenho andado muito sentado.  Eu posso tentar sair hoje.

 Então eu não sei o que é, mas eu tenho estado muito mais cansado nos últimos meses Eu não tenho quase a força que eu desejo.  Então o que eu faço.  Eu tenho pensado que pode ser divertido conseguir um gato, mas eu não sei que tipo de gato e eu não gosto do jeito que a casa cheira se isso acontece, então quem sabe.

15 July 2019

So I commented on someone’s post on Facebook. I do that sometimes. Anyway I’m mad because the one person blocked me some time back. That I don’t care about. What really upset me is some of the ignorant things she said. 

I don’t hide the fact that I had a stroke. I don’t hide the fact that I support the president. Still think what you want of me. 

What I really take offense at is the fact that some people assume that I support the president BECAUSE of my stroke. I am a Social Worker by training. As a group Social Workers are a very liberal minded group. There are some Social Workers, like myself, that maintain much more conservative ideas. 

I don’t care if you don’t like my ideas, you are allowed to have your own ideas. What I really have a problem with is people that assume that I maintain conservative ideas because of my stroke and I have some kind of mental deficiency. Honestly, I would be glad to challenge anyone to an IQ test.

I have had very conservative ideas for a long time. Some ideas that most liberals maintain I think are great. Still other ideas are as wrong as the day is long. 

There are times when we all think an idea is wrong. To assume that the other person has a mental disability is the height of arrogance. 

Social Workers connect people with resources. Personally I think they help others take the emotions out of many situations and help provide tools to deal with emotionally challenging situations. Connection with resources is easy enough for me. Knowing where to go is easy. Getting there is hard

 Então eu comentei a postagem de alguém no Facebook.  Eu faço isso às vezes.  De qualquer forma, estou bravo porque a única pessoa me bloqueou algum tempo atrás.  Que eu não me importo.  O que realmente me aborreceu foram algumas das coisas ignorantes que ela disse.

 Eu não escondo o fato de que tive um derrame.  Eu não escondo o fato de apoiar o presidente.  Ainda pensa o que você quer de mim.

 O que realmente me ofende é o fato de algumas pessoas acreditarem que eu apoio o presidente por causa do meu derrame.  Eu sou um assistente social por formação.  Como grupo, os assistentes sociais são um grupo muito liberal.  Existem alguns assistentes sociais, como eu, que mantêm idéias muito mais conservadoras.

 Eu não me importo se você não gosta de minhas idéias, você está autorizado a ter suas próprias idéias.  O que eu realmente tenho um problema é com pessoas que assumem que eu mantenho idéias conservadoras por causa do meu derrame e eu tenho algum tipo de deficiência mental.  Honestamente, eu ficaria feliz em desafiar qualquer um para um teste de QI.

 Eu tenho idéias muito conservadoras há muito tempo.  Algumas idéias que a maioria dos liberais mantém, acho que são ótimas.  Ainda outras idéias são tão erradas quanto o dia é longo.

 Há momentos em que todos pensamos que uma ideia está errada.  Supor que a outra pessoa tenha uma deficiência mental é o auge da arrogância.

 Os assistentes sociais conectam pessoas com recursos.  Pessoalmente, acho que eles ajudam os outros a tirar as emoções de muitas situações e ajudam a fornecer ferramentas para lidar com situações emocionalmente desafiadoras.  Conexão com recursos é fácil o suficiente para mim.  Saber onde ir é fácil.  Chegar lá é difícil

16 July 2019

I am mad. Some people think I’m dumb, stupid, and mentally disabled because of my stroke. I want to say go to hell. That would not be nice, so I won’t. 

Eu sou louco.  Algumas pessoas acham que sou burro, estúpido e mentalmente incapacitado por causa do meu derrame.  Eu quero dizer ir para o inferno.  Isso não seria legal, então eu não.

22 June 2019.....help, help, I’m being repressed.

Running type exercise. *Legs exercise. *

I have been stretching a lot recently. It helps my legs. 

Write every morning. 

No because I have been so tired. 

Floss teeth 

No. 

Volunteer

Sure. 

Budget

Yes. It’s just hard to make a regular schedule. 

No robbing/borrowing from savings 

Ok.  

No Facebook until after budgeting is done *daily*

Not sure this is relevant now. 

Spend time in nature

Not really. Its been raining a lot. 

Read Book of Mormon daily *Read New Testament daily*

Not bad. 

So I have been watching YouTube a lot and finding out about all kinds of things. I had ruled out some things. But I my try a couple of things because I have found an example of a jig that I could use. I really have to try. One thing that bothers me is trying to do to much. But trying to make something is better than watching videos all day. I think I should use more time by reading or writing. I may have to get more audio books. Also I need to try the voice recognition software that is built into my phone and tablet. we truly live in such an amazing period in time. 

I am going to have to get over myself. 

I feel kind of awful right now. Reflux. Going to the bathroom more than is normal or more than I want. 

I am tired of every event is taking so long right now. I would tell you more if I could but I have to wait until Monday to find out information. 

I am trying the text to type feature  of my tablet. It doesn’t work very well sometimes. I have had to go back and change a lot. 

14 June 2019........

Right now I am feeling like the man in the New Testament. He said Lord I believe. Help Thou my unbelief. I have done all I can. I feel weak and used up. 

Neste momento estou me sentindo como o homem do Novo Testamento.  Ele disse Senhor eu acredito.  Ajuda a minha incredulidade.  Eu fiz tudo que posso.  Eu me sinto fraco e esgotado.

7 June 2019. .....I wish I didn’t get so tired so fast.

Running type exercise. *Legs exercise. *

Standing is getting easier I still don’t have the best balance. 

Write every morning. 

Ok. 

Floss teeth 

Not really . 

Volunteer

I guess. 

Budget

I need to do some advanced planning. 

No robbing/borrowing from savings 

Ok this month. 

No Facebook until after budgeting is done *daily*

Not sure this is relevant now. 

Spend time in nature

It is raining a lot so I’m not going out much right now. 

Read Book of Mormon daily *Read New Testament daily*

Ok. 

So I am thinking and speculating to much and I usually keep things like this to myself because it is so far outside my circle of influence that, I don’t know. 

I’ve been reading the Book of Helaman and the first part of 3 Nephi in The Book of Mormon. We live in a time that is so similar.  I will leave it at that. 

I am beyond frustrated with the bureaucracy  here. It is insane. The ultimate big brother state. I can understand needing some bureaucracy, but I can better understand now some of the frustration I heard when I was on my mission here. 

Some things here are not easy. They want paperwork here that we don’t use in the US. For example. Most people have probably figured out by now, but I came here to get married. I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret, I just didn’t go out of my why to publish the fact. 

Anyway, here, if someone gets divorced, that fact is published on the original marriage certificate. That is not something that happens in the US. Marriage certificates and Divorce Decrees are completely separate. We finally had to get an attorney to help. 

So yes I’m here to get married. Her name is Hildete.  We have known each other about 25 years. We served in the same mission. So she is slightly older than me. She has three children. She thinks 75 degrees Fahrenheit (25 degrees celsius) is cold. She is going to love the US. 😜

Trying to do all the marriage and immigration thing is not easy. Any and all prayers are welcome.