30 January 2019.........painfully obvious

So, my biggest pet peeve is people that think I should have the same physical perspective as they do. In my wheelchair I’m 4 foot 2 inches (127 cm).  If I stand I’m 6 foot 1 inch (185 cm). The way I see things can be very different from the perspective everyone else sees. My table is almost as tall as me when I am in a standard chair. 

I am so tired of people thinking I can see everything like most walking people. They seem to forget that I am in a wheelchair. I would think that it is painfully obvious by now. I guess not obvious enough for some people. I guess they need to be reminded of that fact everyday. 

I have had the most miserable week because one person insists on putting things on my table and not telling me. 

I have been in a wheelchair for six years. I would hope it’s obvious by now. To some people apparently not. 

28 January 2019.......

Running type exercise. *Legs exercise. *

No running type exercise. Working on legs and abs

Write every morning. 

Not to bad. I think I need to figure out how to sleep better. Any suggestions?

Floss teeth 

Not to bad. I need to do it at 6:30 so I can start winding down. 

Volunteer

In working it my way. 

Budget

I need to get the next few months planned out. Maybe longer. Overall not to bad. 

No robbing/borrowing from savings 

The insurance had to be paid. But I am telling myself if I don’t have money, I don’t have money and stuff can wait. 

No Facebook until after budgeting is done *daily*

Good. 

Spend time in nature

 Been going outside to get my mail, does that count?

Read Book of Mormon daily *Read New Testament daily*

Pretty good. 

I was reading in Matthew, the parable of the unjust servant. The master forgave him his huge debt. Then he left and did not forgive those that owed him money. The master found out what his servant was doing. Not only was the servant sent to prison but the master demanded the full amount of the debt he owed be paid. 

Heavenly Father will forgive us of our debts, but only if we forgive others their debts. Makes me think about the beatitudes. Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy. 

Now I affectionately refer to the area of the city I live as the land that time forgot. It’s not so bad. Only most of the time. Any way point. 

UPS has a shipping center near me. Very unresponsive if you have a concern. I recommend don’t use UPS if you have any other choice, at least in the San Antonio area. Anywhere else use them sure. Contact me I will tell you more if you want to know. 

Another place I don’t recommend is Bank of America. At the local level great. If you have to deal with the bigger company be prepared to have them treat you and your money poorly. I recommend stay away. 

Lastly, the bank I currently use, I won’t mention by name but the favorite color is blue. I have been without a a debit card for most of the month. Very unhappy with the lack of service they have shown this month. 

24 January 2019.........wow and wow

Running type exercise. *Legs exercise. *

Ok. Need to do better. 

Write every morning. 

I’ve been sick. Still I’ve tried. Just not blog stuff. 

Floss teeth 

Getting better. I just need to do it earlier al,l the time. 

Volunteer

I’m  doing it my own way based in what I can do. 

Budget

Been doing better. Budgeting helps me accomplish some of my other desires. 

No robbing/borrowing from savings 

Pretty good. I had to pay insurance that I haven’t been getting bills for. I think that last night I had an idea that will force me to act better with my money. 

No Facebook until after budgeting is done *daily*

Because I have felt so rotten I’ve been looking some. 

Spend time in nature

I go outside. I get slightly sunburned my face starts peeling. I use lotion and so I don’t want to go out again. It’s a vicious cycle. 

Read Book of Mormon daily *Read New Testament daily*

Five verses in each seen to work out, if you listen to the audio and follow along. At times you need to change the pace for different reasons. 

I have delusions of grander, but at the same time I have a body that cannot do most of what I want it to do. I will try and usually fail in my attempts. I am very grateful for what people do for me. My mother does more than I will probably ever know. I love that she helps me with so much. My stepfather helps with things, but as far as I am concerned my mom does some things better. She doesn’t do everything better. Some things he does better. Like most people I have people try to help me and they do things that are not helpful. I don’t mind if something is picked up off the floor, it can be placed on the nearest table or counter, and it can be dealt with properly later. 

One thing that I have hated is someone acting like I am to stupid to understand some things. I am far from being your average potato. That said I am sure my stroke changed some things for me. I have been told that during the past almost 6 years, since I had my stroke, I acted a lot more juvenile at times. Maybe. Now people say that I act more rational and reasonable. Personally, I don’t know about that but it makes me think about something I was told in a blessing. That I would be back to where I was after about five years, with some problems. 

Personally I would love to be walking around. But the fact of the matter is I will always be better off in my wheelchair. It is a huge advantage in many ways. Plus, I always have a place to sit down. 

16 January 2019........

16 January 2019

So I have felt really crumby the past few days. 

I went and did my nails yesterday. Before that the ladies that clean my apartment came by. It’s nice to have things clean. 

I have been eating the frozen dinners I bought for myself. It is nice to have meals that require little preparation. I used to want all my food homemade. That is beyond unrealistic for me now. I try to make everything as simple as possible now. 

Now, some other thoughts. I found it interesting that this one man compared Milo Yiannopoulos with a court jester of old. He can basically say anything he wants because he says things in a funny manner. 

Now I was looking at why he was banned from several internet sites. The one was because of “hate speech”.  What is “hate speech”?  I would be willing to bet, I could ask, and get ten answers and all the answers would be different. What is hate speech to me might be something different to someone else. 

We live in very perilous times.  So many things. I don’t know, I just don’t know. 

13 January 2019........it’s partly allergies. I hate them.

11 January 2019

I am so mad right now. Even after sleeping on it I am so mad I could chew nails. I received information last night at 9:00. It was sent at 4:30. At times I am busy and cannot check texts or email. The message really makes things difficult for me. If I was a normal walking person I would not care. Because of my wheelchair I am in an extremely difficult situation and it might be all weekend. 

Grrrrrr

I was so tired yesterday I actually took a nap. It was really hard to move afterwards. The alarm on my tablet was going off I was out. 

12 January 2019

Well I was very upset yesterday morning. But now I have new flooring in my bedroom. It was funny because my daughter found a small,leftover piece of what was installed. She was acting mad, I couldn’t tell if she was really mad or just joking, but she said she wanted real wood. Someday. The floor got installed, my furniture got moved back. Life is good. 

I am glad of so much. 

So, I was watching a documentary about male circumcision. It was almost to funny not to laugh at times. But by the end of the documentary at seemed like it was trying to say, circumcise bad. Both sides of the argument were presented. They talked about everything. Very wide range of related topics. Over all I would say, let men wait until they are 18 then they can decide for themselves. But it was mostly funny I would say. If you want to watch it, it’s on Netflix. 

I have so many topics racing through my head all the time. Trying to make some sort of order seems to be impossible. 

13 January 2019

I was watching a Jordan Peterson interview. I found it very interesting how the interviewer always came back to the idea of “success equals pay/money”. 

He was always saying that money is a factor. But not the only thing or only factor. 

Listening for a minute, he seems to be saying that we each need to define what it is to be successful. Success will vary from person to person and from one stage of life to another. 

How we define success when we are younger my vary greatly from how we define it when we are older. 

I find it odd how most people equate money and power over other people with success. Money is nice. Power over people can be helpful at times. Success is a totally different thing. It may involve money at times. It may involve power over other people at times. One of my definitions of success is flossing my teeth everyday. I can do it. If I get to tired I don’t want to. So how have I been doing. 

Running type exercise. *Legs exercise. *

I’ve not been running. I have felt so crumby that it is hard to want to do anything. 

Write every morning. 

I’m getting a lot better at this. 

Floss teeth 

 I have been lazy. I need to get myself doing better. 

Volunteer

I have been doing what I can. I need to do better and look around and reevaluate what I can do. 

Budget

I’ve been working on this everyday. 

No robbing/borrowing from savings 

So far so good 

No Facebook until after budgeting is done *daily*

Good I don’t seem to be on Facebook nearly as much either. 

Spend time in nature

 It’s been raining a lot lately so I’ve been inside a lot. But I go and sit outside. 

Read Book of Mormon daily *Read New Testament daily*

Not bad. Not the best

8 January 2019

7 January 2019

Happy birthday to me. 45. How can I really be so damn old. 

So, thinking again. Watching videos on Facebook and YouTube again. Most “news” is entertainment. Very little facts. Then individuals pragandization of the event. 

I would like to be treated like as human being with a brain. 

8 January 2019

So I’ve been sleeping on some thoughts. Not the most comfortable. 

I’m sure most people know how I feel about politicians like Mitt Romney and Jeff Flake. Personally I see them more as obstructionists. That said I do applaud their efforts in attempting to keep the political arena a more civil place. That is not something I would be able to do at all.

That said they are politicians and I have a very low opinion of most politicians anyway. 

Yesterday was weird. 

First I went to the attorney to start my will. That was weird enough. I have decided I want to donate my body to be a cadaver. I won’t be using my body after I die and someone might as well get some use out of it. I see cemeteries and caskets as a similar to having a storage unit where you save things you might never use. Anyway the will was easy enough. After that I came home and called the college I want to donate my body to. I went to the website and looked for a while. Finely, I just call the “Donations” number. The lady I needed to talk to was out, so I ask if she would call me back. Then the lady I was on the phone with ask if I would like to say what it was about. I was about to say “no” then I thought let’s just get this ball rolling. I explain that the donation I want to make is I want to donate my body to be a cadaver after I die. Silence. I said I was not sure who to talk to. If I needed to speak with someone in the biological sciences or what. In my will I can say what I want done with my body. But who pays for it? I’m still waiting for a callback. 

After the attorney I came home, then went to the doctor. 

That was an experience. And not a good one. How one person can act so incapable and still breath is beyond me. The doctor is great. The nurse lacks everything to be desired. It took longer than it should have and it seems like some people are so apologetic  towards other people’s mistakes. 

Then home again and wait for the day to end. 

6 January 2019.....I love two hour church

Running type exercise. *Legs exercise. *

I need to do more kneeling and what I know as “hero squats”. My thighs hunt so much after. I forgot I have muscles in my legs. 

Write every morning. 

Getting better. 

Floss teeth 

For me this seems to work best about 6:30. I can’t do that every night. But most. 

Volunteer

I am doing what I can. 

Budget

I seem to do better right after I get up. Also, right after payday is really busy. Money flying everywhere. I have to think like Dori. “Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.”

No robbing/borrowing from savings 

So far this month great. 

No Facebook until after budgeting is done *daily*

When I don’t have my meds or if I’m really tired and sore, thinking tasks are no fun. 

Spend time in nature

It has been really beautiful outside recently. Plus I got new allergy meds that really work. 

Read Book of Mormon daily *Read New Testament daily*

I have not been doing the best. My alergies have been so bad, I get up shower for relief and then after I get dressed go back to feeling crumby for the rest of the day. 

We have hit a major turning point in the USA. Now that Donald Trump has been president for nearly two years, things are becoming difficult. I don’t think it is in a good way. People think he behaves badly. He does. Still, some of the newly elected members of Congress are sinking lower than him. 

Mitt Romney, I say would have been a great politician 50 or 60 years ago. For the most part he keeps himself out of the petty fights and bickering. Unfortunately we are now in the age of Donald Trump. He sees a problem and is not afraid to fix it. If he has to get “muddy” to get things done, so be it. Definitely not typical. I would say he tries to avoid throwing “mud”, but is not afraid to do that if he has to. President Trump is truly trying to work for the “common man” as much as he can. 

Now there are new Congress people that look like they want to make it the proverbial mud wrestling contest. “Never get in a mud wrestling contest with a pig. You will annoy yourself and gratify the pig.”

I got me a new phone. My iPhone was/is to delicate for me. I got me a more rugged phone. It has more features than I want so I won’t set them up. I just want talk and text. Maybe photos. I will let you know how it goes. Part of why I’m giving myself a dumb phone is because I want to give my children dumb phones. I can’t expect them to go without and I still have what they want. I don’t work that way. 

One last thing today,  when I die someday. I want to donate my body, to be a cadaver at Snow college so it can be put to good use. Cemetery’s are for the living. The dead bodies don’t care. 

4 January 2019.....bla, bla, bla, life sucks.

I have felt so crumby the past few days.  I haven’t done much of anything productive or otherwise. I have decided that it is some kind of allergy. Most likely Ceader. I sent a message to the doctor. We will see what she says. I am tired of feeling awful. My nose feels raw inside and out. I don’t want to do a thing. I took a shower and felt great, for a while. Now no. 

So, I wrote a thing about why I think Mitt Romney is so wrong. Then I slept on it. He’s not my senator. I’ve got two of my own piles of manure representing my state. Why should I worry about the manure representing other states. 

Some may say, “He’s so nice.”  I personally don’t vote for someone because he or she is nice. Granted if they are nice great. I vote for someone to make the hard decisions. Granted I might not like what the person that was voted for does. It’s not his or her job to keep me happy every minute. 

Still, regarding Romney, born I’m Michigan, Governor of Massachusetts, the day after Orrin Hatch announces that he will not be running for the senate, Romney lives in Utah. Very confusing. I would say concerning. Overall Utah can do whatever they want, I’m glad I don’t live there. Besides the fact it can be so cold. 

So. I’m thinking that some things probably need to change. 

States should pay senators, that way they are beholden to the state they are supposed to represent. 

Congressional representatives should be paid by the state and district they represent. All money could be put into a common pool and salaries can be paid more evenly. 

Staffers would have to always come from the state, senators or representatives are from. And for representatives, preferably the area he or she represents. Are also paid by the state they help the senators or representatives. 

I would say we have to many senators and representatives and staffers that are showboating. Not all.  Some. 

The constitution would most likely have to be changed for this to happen. So. 

The federal government, as far as I am concerned, should be no bigger than any state government. 

I’m  sure I’m living in some kind of fantasy world. That is how life works at times. 

Now for something completely different, almost. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

There was a song written, based on the words of this scripture, but trying to sell the idea that everything should always be happy. Fun song though. 

Point, we have to accept good and bad. Some things are always going to be bad. “War is all hell.”  I like the idea of peace better. They both happen. As a former soldier, I learned that we have to accept both the good and the bad that comes with life. 

Whether someone likes the fact or not right now is the time of Donald Trump as president. Like the people of Utah have decided it is the time for Mitt Romney. I think that choice is crazy as the day is long, but that is their choice. If you want to look for a way to stop Donald Trump from being president, do it a little more quietly. Some people want president Trump out. We are still in the time of President Trump. If he actually opens a concentration camp, let me know so I can start worrying. 

It’s like almost every one that doesn’t like the president thinks if they say the same thing over and over, it will make it true. That sounds more like the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. 

Trump is not my idea of the ideal leader. But he answered the call when he saw the need. Maybe someday the nation will want a Mitt Romney type person in the Whitehouse. Maybe. That type of person hardly has a place anymore I would say. I’m an idealist, but not that idealistic. 

2 January 2019.....just a thought

I have been thinking. I just can’t seem to stop. 

About my thought. I would say most of the US population expect President Trump to be a typical politician. We all have our idea about what we want the typical politician should be. 

Donald Trump is not a politician be trade. He is a businessman. For that reason he does many things different from a “politician”. 

Whether we realize it or not, the American people wanted something different and got it in the exact form of Donald Trump. 

He is far from being my ideal for president. I don’t think anyone wanted him specifically. He offered the first real “choice” in a politician for a long time, maybe ever. 

I would dare say that a lot of people were hoping he would come and continue with “business as usual”. I for one don’t want business as usual. I want better than usual. Granted, President Trump is not the ideal, whatever that my be. He is definitely not business as usual. 

I saw a quote a while back. “I’m not saying your a racist, but if you support Donald Trump,you are the friend of a racist.”  That May not be exact, it’s close enough. That’s almost as ignorant as saying, “I’m not saying he’s a black man, but he’s the friend of a black man.” I would hope we are all above guilt by association. 

We have the chance to vote for another president in a little less than two years. Personally, I think we have something awesome, no need for change. 

1 January 2019....time flies

So new year new goals, somewhat. Most of the goals are the same, some are new. 

Running type exercise. *Legs exercise. *

I want to stand every other day

Write every morning. 

Getting somewhat better. 

Floss teeth

Need to do this at a better time and not late. 

Volunteer

I am helping someone and that is needing help. 

Budget

Need to work on this more. The first of the month is very busy and I don’t want to do anything. But I can see the difference it makes when I do. 

No robbing/borrowing from savings 

Need to be better at budgeting and saying no to myself.

No Facebook until after budgeting is done *daily*

I need to work on this better. 

Spend time in nature

I love being outside. It’s just the fact that I get sunburnt or windburns. I guess I need to wear my hat more often. 

Read Book of Mormon daily *Read New Testament daily*

I need to do more study and understanding of the two. 

So, some difference. Still, basically the same. There are other things I would like to do but it can be to easy for me to get overwhelmed if I give myself to much and start to get behind. The fact that my body only moves slowly, and right now while I am typing I am using only one finger. I have to do everything the slow way. I hate the slow way at times but things get done.