10 February 2019

6 February 2019

So I have been thinking. 

I am not happy about people covering and accepting someone else’s incompetence. And theme I get blamed.  What a day what a life. I am so tired of so much because logic seems to evade so many people so often. At times it evades me but I had brain damage from a stroke, what’s there excuse.   

I am fighting mad about so many things. At times I feel I should just walk away and let things sort themselves out. This time I have to work at a lot of different things. 

9 February 2019

Ok, so I am crazy tough and cruel at times. If someone is in this country illegally I don’t want to know there status. But if I find out that someone is here in the US illegally, I have no problem with the idea of calling ICE. 

I worked on the border with Mexico years ago. It is not all roses. It can be ugly. Granted some things are beautiful there. That doesn’t mean bad things can’t happen. 

Movement between countries is not as easy as it once was 100, 200, 300 years ago. It has become increasingly complicated. My fiancée lives in Brazil. I have worked a lot to bring her here to the US. That is hard. Finally I had to go there. I hate traveling because it is so hard on me. To go to Brazil from the US is super easy. Coming to the US from Brazil is insanely hard. 

Traveling is hard on me. I will go out one day and I have to recover the next two. Also, because of my wheelchair I can’t go places I would like. Cobblestone streets are not easy. I would love to go someplace like Manchu Picchu in Peru. That is outside the realm of possibility for me. 

Back to the point. I believe in laws. Sometimes I don’t like what happens because of them. Some I think are as wrong as the day is long. Some laws I think are wonderful. Overall I like laws that govern. Laws don’t care about your feelings. 

10 February 2019

Running type exercise. *Legs exercise. *

I have been so weak I have not wanted to do anything. 

Write every morning. 

Sure. Just not blog or journal.  

Floss teeth 

Not bad. 

Volunteer

I guess. 

Budget

 It’s getting done. It’s getting easier 

No robbing/borrowing from savings 

This week ok. Partly because savings has no money to speak of. 

No Facebook until after budgeting is done *daily*

This seems to be the only thing I do consistently 

Spend time in nature

It has been cold the only time I want to go outside is to get in the car. 

Read Book of Mormon daily *Read New Testament daily*

Not bad. I feel so horrible lately I don’t even went to fallow along with audio. 

I have felt so rotten lately that I have a very hard time wanting to be nice. I can be but it requires a lot of effort. I have my ruthless logic coming out. It can be mean. I really try to just stay quiet so I won’t say something that I know will bring someone to tears, or irrationally mad. I still have my moments that I can be totally irrational. I can tell. 

This morning I feel worse than usual. I got up and my arms and legs were shaking worse than they ever have. My mom came over to use my blender. As I was talking, I noticed I was slurring my words. 

I have no desire to watch TV. I have no desire to do anything with my tablet. I go out side and I want to go back inside. I almost sound depressed. I will look up the symptoms for depression. I doubt it but who knows. Overall I have a theory. If you see the symptoms in yourself, you begin to see the symptoms in everyone else. Kind of like you notice all the cars like yours after you get a new one.