20 September 2021……Damn.

I had an insight about my condition since I’ve had the stroke. I have been noticing that every so often, maybe about six weeks, l start to become more confused about things that I am trying to do. 

I am still smart, I’ve had many people comment on that who are doctors and lawyers and I have had tests to confirm that my intellect is great. I had Psychiatrist give me recommendations about how I am doing since I had a stroke, a form of brain damage.

Even with all my intellectual abilities my intellect and emotions are greatly affected from time to time buy something that happened because of my stroke. I don’t know the word to best describe it, but I have a feeling someday I will.

I can get very caught up in whatever I am discussing or debating someone about. In fact I can lose my train of thought sometimes so badly that it looks like the train jumped the track.

I have been trying, and learned repeatedly, that my super power is listening, not talking. I really prefer writing because it is less likely to convey emotions that I don’t want to express at any given moment. 

I am like a bunch of yarn that is all wadded up with no rhyme or reason. My emotions can overpower almost anything I do. I once was in an argument with someone about something, I don’t remember what. But the argument came to a point where I tried to place myself equal to God. I know that is wrong. At that moment I didn’t care. I wanted to be right, and that is the only place logic would take me. 

Logic is very important. 

Emotions are very important

. 

They mix together very badly at times. Both are essential. 

The best example I can think of is an example I learned about many years ago. A state legislature passed and the governor signed into law that  dealt  with the homeless “problem”. They would buy the homeless person a house. I don’t know the details but it was a very sound idea that doesn’t make a lot of sense. But it made many people very happy and saved the state lots of money. Maybe I will look up the program and see if it is still going. 

Logic and emotion do not  mix well. Without a mixture of the two you cannot have compassion. We all need to have the compassion of a surgeon. A surgeon helps, or can help. That said it is by doing some things that would be unthinkable by a less skilled person. 

We all need the compassion of a surgeon. They have a very unique blend of emotions, logic and skill. 

So, we all have conditions that cause us great confusion. Some conditions are chemical. Some are biological/physical. Some are placed upon us.  Sometimes we place them on ourselves.