This has been the craziest few days ever. I went out on Thursday and Friday of about half the day and I got home between 12:00 and 2:00. I was so tired I did not want to do anything. I just wanted to sit there. If you know me that is so unlike me. I wanted to type but that was to difficult.
To put it nicely I have been an ass the past few days. Who am I trying to kid? I have probably been that way for longer but most people are nice enough not to say anything. It is hard to tell what is part of my stroke and what part is just me being a jerk. There are times right now in order for me to get through and I have to close my eyes or I would be a puddle on the floor. The last time I got up to speak at church I would have been a puddle if I hadn't just closed my eyes.
I had a conversation once and I ask my brother who was down visiting from Minnesota if he could help coach me through the situation. I am sure that there were other things he would have rather been doing. But thanks to his help I was able to get through a very emotional charged situation with relatively few tears. Thanks bro. It is so easy for me to be emotional. I go in to situations thinking that I will keep myself calm and then I have some sort of breakdown along the way. Unfortunately it usually involves me crying or getting angry. Or maybe both. I have even had fits of laughter or a very strong desire to laugh lately but that is when I am usually by myself. I wish now more than ever I could just turn my emotions off.
The other day I was at the park with my kids. In all of a sudden my chair would not move. I just tried to do what I could. That didn't help, so when my mom came closer I told her. My oldest son tried to help me reset it but that didn't work either so my mom caller her husband. It took him a few minutes to get there but I am used to waiting and sense we were in the shade it was not to bad. Well my step dad tried, no luck also. It was kind of strange but he finally got my chair moving again. There are two sets of controls. The one in the front for me is more obvious. There is another set of controls in the back. I am going to assume that some one at the park accidentally bumper the switch that changes the controls. It sure was a pain.
Well if you need a wheel chair an electric one is the way to go.
One of the things I tried this week was the manual wheel chair I have. As they were working on my electric chair and my car. I was in a manual chair. I was able to get around the apartment pretty good so I thought way not try in outside. Not the greatest idea I have ever had. The area I was in had a genial slope. Not to bad to go down but I was not thinking about having to go back up hill. I tried, but I did not make it very far. Finally this one lady took pity on me and ask if I would want some help. I said yes. She wheeled me to my building and I thought it would be no problem to get in to the apartment by myself. I guess I was more tired than I realized. I got down the hall and in the apartment but I was having a hard time getting the door closed again. The same lady came by and offered to shut the door for me. That was the most tired I think I have ever been.
Needless to say this has been a very eventful week.
Last thing I want to say is when I have been saying father in law, I meant to say step father. Both are great men but I have been good at saying the wrong thing.
Take care.
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